Long overdue apologies to the loyal readership. The FTB crew has been doing way too much, as the kids sometimes say. Actually, adults say that. But to the kids, we were simply “on one.” So it is. Life intervenes.

And, of course, it would be easy enough to cover off on something at least lightweight important, like (say) the Warriors’ recent draft of a certain son of onetime NBA sixth man of the year Dell Curry. But no. That’s been covered to death. And frankly, I’m not sure I can still quite see Nellie’s vision for a lineup with four three-point specialists on the floor together at the same time any longer. I’m sure I’ll start to sniff the brandy around August when the summer league stats roll in and light that familiar fire under my ass to go out in the waning light and shoot dozens of 37-foot three pointers in an empty gym, but until then I’m going to take a more gentle approach to re-entry blogging.

Some trick shots. Sure, it could look fake if you wanted it to. I don’t think it is. Edited? Sure. But he’s making these, at least. And supposedly the dude has accepted a Twitter challenge from the newly renamed Big Cavaleezy, Shaquille O’Neal. To a game of horse. For a thousand bucks.

Basically, it all comes down to whether or not dunking is allowed. But Bruce Manley. Remember that name. He’s going to be all up in some YouTubelage with Shaq in a few days.

Turman

PS. Patty Mills falls to number 55 in the draft? Supreme injustice. However, he did end up with the Blazers. I’m betting that he’s competing for serious minutes by midseason. He’ll be this year’s Monta. Anyone still reading this blog? Wanna chat about it?

A co-worker of mine directed me to this site, Flip Flop Fly Ball. Created by Craig Robinson, the site his a happy merger two of his personal interests – baseball and data visualization. While most all of the infographics are baseball focused, there was at least one dedicated to basketball. Along with a clear illustration the game’s evolution, I think he really captured essence of Bird and Anthony here.

Besides the infographics, there is also a collection of pixel portraits depicting some of his favorite players. He calls them “minipops.”

I’m partial to the A’s era Barry Zito (second row, five from the right).

Gd.

The uncomfortable puns. The awkward embrace of opera and basketball. The just looking at Pau Gasol of it all. This was a pretty strange moment in the history of human-interest halftime segments. It was partially redeemed by a splendid editing job at the end, where Pau’s caveman yell was overdubbed with Placido Domingo’s soaring tenor.

Now, on another note, after all of the Kobe-ness of the last few weeks, take a moment to remember the man we drafted ahead of him. The draft is coming up, you see. And while I don’t expect the Dubs to screw up the draft this famously, take a moment out of your busy day to remember the name: Todd Fuller.

Nonetheless, kudos to the Lakers for getting it done. Game recognize game and all. And I think I’m starting to find something to like about them even. Trevor Ariza is a baller.

Turman

PS. Why did Magic Johnson get himself a supersized Goldmember suit? Dang.

This pretty much speaks for itself. Although I’m sure that Hitler would probably be more of a Utah Jazz fan.

Turman

Here’s “Kobe Doing Work”. The full video. Perhaps you saw it air on ESPN. It’s a pretty eye-opening doc from our man Spike Lee. Personally I found it totally riveting. It was like watching a basketball-chess match with full annotation. And the sound track was oh so Spike.

Love him or hate him, Kobe’s basketball skills and IQ are simply unquestionable. A couple of the best lines from Kobe… On stealing Tim Duncan’s patented bank shot, “I swagger-jacked him”. Then, during some free throws he inquires of Kurt Thomas, “You gonna’ play ‘til you’re fifty”?

My notion of the man may have shifted. Just a little.

Gd.

This shopkeeper is apparently not acting alone in his promotional zeal regarding today’s visit by U.S. President Barack Obama. As Obama is scheduled to deliver one of the most important speeches to the Islamic world ever given by a U.S. leader, having vendors like this guy around can’t hurt.

Depending on how this speech is regarded, it could prove to be one of the most significant milestones in international diplomatic history. Or not. But either way, it will prove to be an interesting moment to observe and discuss. Let’s rap about it in the comments after the speech drops.

Turman

PS. The original King Tut arrives at San Francisco’s DeYoung Museum on the 27th of the June for those who like their Tutankhamun old-school style. And no, I don’t know if they spell it differently in Cairo or if dude just got his engraving a little twisted.

PPS. Game one tonight! Woot!

PPPS. Make the jump for an excerpt from the speech and a link to the full text.

(From the New York Times)

I am honored to be in the timeless city of Cairo, and to be hosted by two remarkable institutions. For over a thousand years, Al-Azhar has stood as a beacon of Islamic learning, and for over a century, Cairo University has been a source of Egypt’s advancement. Together, you represent the harmony between tradition and progress. I am grateful for your hospitality, and the hospitality of the people of Egypt. I am also proud to carry with me the goodwill of the American people, and a greeting of peace from Muslim communities in my country: assalaamu alaykum.

We meet at a time of tension between the United States and Muslims around the world – tension rooted in historical forces that go beyond any current policy debate. The relationship between Islam and the West includes centuries of co-existence and cooperation, but also conflict and religious wars. More recently, tension has been fed by colonialism that denied rights and opportunities to many Muslims, and a Cold War in which Muslim-majority countries were too often treated as proxies without regard to their own aspirations. Moreover, the sweeping change brought by modernity and globalization led many Muslims to view the West as hostile to the traditions of Islam.

Violent extremists have exploited these tensions in a small but potent minority of Muslims. The attacks of September 11th, 2001 and the continued efforts of these extremists to engage in violence against civilians has led some in my country to view Islam as inevitably hostile not only to America and Western countries, but also to human rights. This has bred more fear and mistrust.

So long as our relationship is defined by our differences, we will empower those who sow hatred rather than peace, and who promote conflict rather than the cooperation that can help all of our people achieve justice and prosperity. This cycle of suspicion and discord must end.

I have come here to seek a new beginning between the United States and Muslims around the world; one based upon mutual interest and mutual respect; and one based upon the truth that America and Islam are not exclusive, and need not be in competition. Instead, they overlap, and share common principles – principles of justice and progress; tolerance and the dignity of all human beings.

I do so recognizing that change cannot happen overnight. No single speech can eradicate years of mistrust, nor can I answer in the time that I have all the complex questions that brought us to this point. But I am convinced that in order to move forward, we must say openly the things we hold in our hearts, and that too often are said only behind closed doors. There must be a sustained effort to listen to each other; to learn from each other; to respect one another; and to seek common ground. As the Holy Koran tells us, “Be conscious of God and speak always the truth.” That is what I will try to do – to speak the truth as best I can, humbled by the task before us, and firm in my belief that the interests we share as human beings are far more powerful than the forces that drive us apart.

Part of this conviction is rooted in my own experience. I am a Christian, but my father came from a Kenyan family that includes generations of Muslims. As a boy, I spent several years in Indonesia and heard the call of the azaan at the break of dawn and the fall of dusk. As a young man, I worked in Chicago communities where many found dignity and peace in their Muslim faith.

As a student of history, I also know civilization’s debt to Islam. It was Islam – at places like Al-Azhar University – that carried the light of learning through so many centuries, paving the way for Europe’s Renaissance and Enlightenment. It was innovation in Muslim communities that developed the order of algebra; our magnetic compass and tools of navigation; our mastery of pens and printing; our understanding of how disease spreads and how it can be healed. Islamic culture has given us majestic arches and soaring spires; timeless poetry and cherished music; elegant calligraphy and places of peaceful contemplation. And throughout history, Islam has demonstrated through words and deeds the possibilities of religious tolerance and racial equality.

As I scanned the New York Times Magazine last night I noticed this piece about the bearded comedian Zach Galifianakis sandwiched in between the Bill Clinton Article and the design review. Galifianakis’ eccentric, absurdest comedic style has made him somewhat of a YouTube celeb – which he’s now taking it to big screen, co-staring in the movie ”The Hangover.”

So what is this clip above? Galifianakis along with collaborators Tim Heidecker and Eric Wareheim were commissioned by Absolut Vodka to make some web shorts. From the looks of it, the team had some serious creative freedom.

Of all the Galifianakis clips, gags and sketches currently in Internet orbit, none have done more to cement his reputation as a leader of the comic avant-garde, curiously enough, than a series of three ads in 2008 for Absolut vodka. “This advertising firm from Sweden called me out of the blue and asked me to do an ad,” Galifianakis said. “The one request they had was to not make it look too ’80s, since Absolut is perceived as kind of an ’80s brand.” He paused there for a moment, clearly savoring the memory. “That’s what gave us the idea to make the skits a kind of homage to ‘The Golden Girls.’ ”

Gd.

Make the jump for installment two and three.

Part 2:

Part 3:

Well, we’ve heard about Sasha’s soft, soft hair. But this guy’s do is enough to make Ron Artest jealous.

Gd.