With reports out of Phoenix indicating that Matt Barnes is close to an agreement with the Phoenix Suns, female season ticket holders are planning an impromptu protest at the team practice facility in Downtown Oakland tomorrow. Details are scarce at this late hour, but when reached for comment, a representative of Women In Powerful Praise of Energetic Defense (WIPPED) identified only as Lil’ Dub Fan, responded as follows.
Oh hell no. First Boom and now this? And Azubuike too? They don’t know who they’re messin’ with. I ain’t paying $2,500 a year to see who they got left. Somebody needs to get Rick Fox out of retirement or something.
This, in response to a report from the Arizona Republic that all but indicates that the be-tatted heartthrob is headed to the Valley of the Sun.
Free-agent forward Matt Barnes is scheduled to arrive in Phoenix Monday, expecting to sign a one-year veteran’s minimum deal with the Suns after completing a physical.
Barnes, 28, spent the past two seasons in a mostly reserve role with the Golden State Warriors. He collected a career-best 9.8 points and 4.6 rebounds in the 2006-07 season. Last season, he averaged 6.7 points and 4.4 rebounds in 19.4 minutes per game.
General Manager Steve Kerr and coach Terry Porter talked with Barnes by phone last week from Las Vegas, where the Suns were in NBA Summer League action. The team likes his shooting touch, ball-handling and big-game experience.
In his seventh NBA season, Barnes is expected to make $1.2 million, but the Suns will pay only $797,000. The rest will come from a league fund.
That giant sighing sound? Well, let’s just say that next year you gentlemen out there just got 50% more likely to be enjoying the game alone.
Newest Warrior, Ronny Turiaf, is set to at least partially fill the massive void in Warrior bearditude since the departure of Baron Davis. It is also clear from this photo taken during his stellar four-year career as a ‘Zag, that Turiaf is capable of putting up Ben Wallace-like numbers in the ‘fro department. For me at least, his patented chest-thumping after a made putback will just seem more, well, intimidating if paired with the coiffure seen above. The Beard he is not. But he is energetic, active, atheletic and big.
I readily admit that I didn’t much like him as a Laker, but maybe with the combination of blowout fro and full-court energy, I am willing to try. What say all of y’all?
It might tell you something about my competitive nature that I was motivated to enter a “Cookie Bake-off” at my work. I don’t even bake. I mean, I once baked some “magic” brownies in 7th grade, but that was a different kind of “bake-off.” No, tonight I’m trying to get all Martha Stewart on this ish.
I’ve decided to rely on pure creativity over any real baking skills. In fact, “Best Cookie Name” is a category in the competition, so I think I got a real shot at placing in at least that event. I first thought of creating a cookie called the “Boom Drizzle,” named after Baron Davis. It would be some kind of sugar cookie with a chocolate drizzled beard. Then I was thinking about baking the “Kelenna Azucookie” in honor of Azubuike. But then I heard the news that Kelenna just signed an offer sheet with the Clips and I kind of got sick to my stomach. Kelenna! Kelenna! (I just got all exclamative only because I wanted to use Gd’s fresh pic of Kelenna smashing on Kobe again. I’m not really that upset. Boom needs some Warriors to keep him company down there.) But seriously, why not just exchange our entire rosters for Chrissakes! I think there’s a reality show in there somewhere - “Team Swap.” Watch the hijinks unfold as Don Nelson calls for CJ Watson to come off the bench in the 4th quarter, and surprise…it’s Cuttino Mobley! Hilarious.
Oh well, I guess I’m stuck baking some Belinellis tonight. I think those are a type of cookie, right? I swear I heard that in the Sopranos - Carmela telling Tony that she made Baked Ziti for dinner and Belinellis for dessert. Or maybe I was just imagining that.
No, “game theory” is not some regional offshoot of pimpology. Game theory is actually a respected branch of applied mathematics, where the application in question is frequently the social sciences. Given the seemingly inexplicable chain reaction that sent Boom Dizzle south, Elton Brand east and Corey Maggette north, let’s see what the smart guys might have already expected to happen. As commenter Skinny Kahuna noted last week, the way things played out is eerily reminiscent of the Prisoner’s Dilemma, a game-theory construct developed by a couple of pocket-protector wearing RAND Corporation employees back in the fifties. It goes a little something like this.
Two suspects are arrested by the police. The police have insufficient evidence for a conviction, and, having separated both prisoners, visit each of them to offer the same deal. If one testifies (”defects”) for the prosecution against the other and the other remains silent, the betrayer goes free and the silent accomplice receives the full 10-year sentence. If both remain silent, both prisoners are sentenced to only six months in jail for a minor charge. If each betrays the other, each receives a five-year sentence. Each prisoner must choose to betray the other or to remain silent. Each one is assured that the other would not know about the betrayal before the end of the investigation. How should the prisoners act?
Even though cooperation would produce the ideal result, the “dominant” strategy, as it is known, is to betray. This is because it will always produce a guaranteed positive outcome. In this case, a five-year contract, I mean, er, sentence. No, I didn’t make that up. Read the Wikipedia entry for yourself if you like.
Now. The events of last week. Make the jump for a an interesting excerpt from the LA Daily News, courtesy of our new favorite source for Beard-related factoids Clips Nation. Read More »
When Sacramento King Brad Miller was popped by the NBA the other day, presumably for a third positive marijuana test, he was lucky. There’s an old adage in show biz. Save your biggest mistakes for Friday, when everyone stops paying attention for three days. But still, how is it that the one-time cornrow sympathizin’, K-Fed resemblin’ Miller barely managed to raise an eyebrow with his getting suspended for the first five games of the season outside of Sactown? Sure, there was the obligatory press conference, replete with standard-issue forced apology and (presumably) contrite staring at the mic stand. But where was the media outrage that was heaped on Josh Howard just a few short weeks ago just for saying that he likes to smoke during the off season? There are lots of comments on Ziller’s blog, but that’s about it.
Personally, if I was staring down free agency and Sacramento came a-callin’, proximity to Humboldt County is one of the region’s primary positive attributes. Or at least it would be if I was gonna be bored, rich and living in Sacramento. Is it any accident that the ultra-lenient and apparently pretty predictable testing cycle has managed to ensnare three prominent and extremely well compensated Kings in less than a decade? Not a huge secret, but C-Webb and White Chocolate (J-Will) were the others. Miller is the highest paid King on the current roster and if I’m reading the NBAPA’s Collective Bargaining Agreement right, there aren’t many other offenses that would result in this particular suspension. Dude. Who kiped his doobage and zarked him out?
While there doesn’t seem to be much outrage, since apparently that is reserved only for cats that happen to be a bit mo’ browner, outspoken and (ahem) discreet, should Kings fans finally decide that they’ve had enough of the demon weed, I’m sure that they can get Scott Pollard back on the cheap. Riiiggghhhtttt. Otherwise, expect more of same. The aggregated powers will continue to prove to be too great. Relative proximity to the world’s great big bong stoker of a forest, abundantly available medical-MJ cards, and not that much to do? For super-rich 24 year olds? Please.
Just call Josh and learn how to beat the test already,
Turman
PS. Brad, I’m sorry. I don’t care that you got popped. But I still had to put you on cornrow blast. I’ve been waiting. Pollard didn’t even go there. You stepped across the, er, “Feder” line.
PPS. Dude, wait. Explain. Why does the league care about this again? It’s not exactly a performance enhancer. And with some of the chronic injuries these cats deal with, I’m sure that at least one or two could consume legally, right? At least in Cali. Comments?
If you look at this lame mashup of an image in soft focus, it sort of looks like Mickael Pietrus is about to smash on Corey Maggette. Which roughly sums up my feelings about the early returns from “signing Wednesday.” Which is apparently sort of not unlike our category of “Hater Tuesday,” but without the sarcastic snark. Sure, everyone in Warriorland clearly felt that Pietrus had some rather monumental brain fades over his tenure, but he was kind of like the cute puppy peeing on the area rug. After a while, we got a bit irrational and acceptant.
This brings me to Corey. Now would be the diplomatic time to adjust my stance of the past couple of days, but I’ll wait until the Dubs win their 40th game with a healthy Maggette for that. Sorry, I’m still not pleased and I’m going to turn no further than the straight-talkin’, sharp shootin’ sideline Matt Steinmetz for some backup on this.
First off, Maggette is injury prone. He’s been in the league nine seasons and has played 70 or more games just four times in his career. Maggette’s body says Iron Man; his stats say Tin Man.
Maggette is a great sub, the kind of aggressive scorer you love coming off the bench. He has a shoot first mentality and is a mediocre defender at best. In other words, as a sixth man he’s great, as a starter he’s not.
Maggette has made it clear he wants to start and be a primary offensive option. But he’s the type of high-maintenance player who doesn’t make teammates better. In fact, because he doesn’t create much, there tends to be a lot of standing around when he’s got the ball on the perimeter.
Maggette has never played for a winner. His teams have missed the playoffs in eight of the nine seasons he’s been in the league. The one year a Maggette team made the playoffs was in 2006, when the Clippers made it to the postseason. That year Maggette played 32 games.
Corey Maggette at three years, $16 or $17 million or so … maybe. Corey Maggette at five years for $40 million? No way.
And that, ladies and gents is what one member of the Warriors’ broadcast team had to say. Wow. But the free-agent pains don’t quit. Perhaps just as sad for all of FTB’s new readers to the south, Elton Brand was pillaged from the Clippers tall ship by the 76′ers. Oy. No Brand and no Maggette. Don’t trip though, BD. Al Thornton is nice. But I digress. Former 76′ers owner Pat Croce loves pirates. He even owns a pirate-themed restaurant and museum. Coincidence? Not so much.
If you’re not hip to Matt Steinmetz’s Warriors blog, consider yourself, well, hipped. I think you’ll appreciate his candor and balanced perspective. Particularly considering he’s a paid broadcast commentator for the Warriors.
I think this perspective is well demonstrated in his latest post. A post in which he spells out the Warriors poor management of the Baron situation and then their lame desperate moves. In no uncertain terms mind you. So, thanks “Steinmeezy” for having the onions to call ‘em how you see ‘em.
On another note, his previous post on the Warriors Summer League roster caught my eye. Given the circumstances, it was a welcome distraction from the swirl around BD. But mainly because of the two invitees noted in the post.
DeMarcus Nelson and Mykal Riley, both guards averaging 14-15 ppg and coming off very solid senior years at well respected programs (Duke and Alabama, respectively).
A few things stood out.
First, DeMarcus is from Oakland. He plays great defense and is an exceptional rebounder for his size. Not to mention holding the all-time scoring record for a California High Schooler (with 3,462 points).
Mykal hits 3-pointers at a furious rate (over 43%) and played for Alabama’s Crimson Tide, name-checked in one of my favorite Steely Dan tracks, “Deacon Blues.”
Finally, after his observation (weakness be damned), Matt Steinmetz declared, “Riley will make the team.”
I’m sure that there will be plenty of takes on this news in the days, weeks and months to come, so I’ll keep this short. Well, sort of short. This news managed to catch even the most astute NBA watchers by surprise, so there really isn’t that much data out there. Sure, it’s also possible that plenty of folks have a whole lot more of an idea what’s going on than we do, but not many of them have spoken yet. But having rapidly ingested the few early news reports on the subject of Baron going all Kenny Rodgers on the Dubs, I’m rapidly coming to a somewhat unlikely understanding. Acceptance even. Apparently, BD wants the ball in his hands. Just as he wants the ball when the clock is winding down in the fourth, he also wants to hold the power to make or miss in the matter of contract negotiations.
Any number of factors could have influenced the decision. Perhaps, there is a deal in place that none of us are aware of yet. And it doesn’t seem like too much of a reach to suggest that the decision by Clipper Elton Brand to opt out of his own deal may have opened a door for the LA-raised Davis that was too hard to ignore as well. But regardless of those two possibilities, it does seem that the main issue at hand is that Davis wants to ink a long-term deal while he still has the benefit of an 82-game healthy streak in his pocket. This streak goes nicely along side his status as the face of the Warriors return to prominence and as the team’s best player. I wouldn’t want to see him go, but I can see the wisdom of the Chronicle’s Gwen Knapp in saluting him for having the presence of mind to see all of this with a degree of clarity, as well as the jumbo onions necessary to pull the trigger on opting out.
So, um, okay. Let me see. A tall, skinny (sorry DT, “long”), athletic lefty with a wide array of skills. An inside-out threat who can effectively post up on the block or take his defender out on the perimeter. Runs the floor extremely well.
When the Lakers were casting for their “It’s A Small World” international roster, they ineptly left out a representative from the Nation of Thizzlam, and now look who’s ghostriding WW2 amphibious transport vehicles in a victory parade. The Celtics are world champions. The Celtics have a high percentage of East Bay personnel on their team. Therefore, more East Bay means more success. But I challenge any NBA team to take such a syllogism to it’s logical Hyphy conclusion. If you have just one dude on your team with highlighted dreads and a mouth full of gold, I’d say that’s the equivalent of three Leon Powes.
In this year’s draft, any team that wants to get a huge vertical leap on the rest of the league, might want to consider McClymond’s Damon Powell. Sure he’s only a High School junior and should probably stay in Mr. Sneed’s class another year, but damn, this kid’s going to be a beast. I mean, if he can dunk over four teenagers, he can definitely smash on Pau Gasol. Check out the above video of Powell dominating this year’s Sac vs. Bay Dunk Contest. Powell pretty much dumps on all these cats, including UCLA-bound, 408 reppin’ Drew Gordon.
Of course, I would be remiss to not point out the risks in drafting East Bay-centric - you might get J. Kidd, but you might also end up with J.R. Rider. The key with the Oakland intangible is you want to make sure your recruit is doin’ too much on the court and not off. Going 18 Dummy needs to be strictly reserved to the hardwood - Hyphy Basketball 101.
