How to have a Great Time Out at your next Warriors Game.
It’s unfortunate that this nugget of wisdom didn’t get to Turman tonight before going to the Orlando Game. I’m pretty sure he would have had a great time out if it had. For most of us, getting roofied and waking up naked in a dumpster would be a much better time out than watching Crawford and Jackson combine for 9 of 371 shooting, but trust me, there are ways to make this fun. Read on padawan:
I went to the Warriors v. Rockets game on Friday night. My girl’s dad was visiting from out of town, so I thought it would be fun to take him to a game, and y’know what? It wasn’t just fun. It was a great time out. Mission accomplished Robert Rowell. No, I wasn’t looking for anything as transcendent or as inspirational as “We Believe,” just a thumbs up, a nod and a “Great Time Out.” It’s clear that the team isn’t having any fun, nor is Don Nelson, and he’s already said as much, but that’s alright. These guys are getting paid millions of dollars. Who says that they’re supposed to have fun on top of it? I think if I was one of the Warriors right now, I’d probably rather be getting a half-time lecture on the art of the McHale Rebound by Kevin McHale himself than be in the Dubs’ locker room. But it’s not about the team. It’s about me and I had a great time on Friday night.
The key to my personal victory of actually enjoying a Warriors game was that I went with someone who doesn’t follow basketball, and certainly doesn’t care about the Warriors. Maybe that’s what Robert Rowell and Chris Cohan have been trying to tell us all along, and we just haven’t gotten the message - if you don’t care about this team, and if you come to a game, you will, most likely, have a great time out.
Now, let me tell you how you too can have a great time at your next Warriors game. First, if you don’t have your own future NASCAR Dad-in-law to bring to a game, just imagine you’re rolling with E.T. or an unfrozen caveman, or at the very least, someone who doesn’t know the difference between bad basketball and good basketball. That’s a start. Next, imagine that your tickets were free. I know that must be hard for the season ticket holders out there, but give it a shot. Just pretend like you spent that money to see guys on Wheelies chucking pizzas or on the privilege to buy one of those battery-powered, plastic Warriors cups that lights up on the bottom, but the tickets to the game were actually free. Next, stop caring about any of the players (this shouldn’t be too hard to do since your favorite players are now probably on The Suns or The Clippers anyway), and finally, drink two 32 0Z. Coronas and two shots of Patron, followed by a margarita in one of those cups that light up, and there you have it- a recipe for a Great F-ing Time Out! I’m not even going to tell you how much fun you’ll have watching the Warriors Girls and the pizza throwing dudes after you go through all of these steps.
M. Meschery