The uncomfortable puns. The awkward embrace of opera and basketball. The just looking at Pau Gasol of it all. This was a pretty strange moment in the history of human-interest halftime segments. It was partially redeemed by a splendid editing job at the end, where Pau’s caveman yell was overdubbed with Placido Domingo’s soaring tenor.
Now, on another note, after all of the Kobe-ness of the last few weeks, take a moment to remember the man we drafted ahead of him. The draft is coming up, you see. And while I don’t expect the Dubs to screw up the draft this famously, take a moment out of your busy day to remember the name: Todd Fuller.
Nonetheless, kudos to the Lakers for getting it done. Game recognize game and all. And I think I’m starting to find something to like about them even. Trevor Ariza is a baller.
Turman
PS. Why did Magic Johnson get himself a supersized Goldmember suit? Dang.
Here’s “Kobe Doing Work”. The full video. Perhaps you saw it air on ESPN. It’s a pretty eye-opening doc from our man Spike Lee. Personally I found it totally riveting. It was like watching a basketball-chess match with full annotation. And the sound track was oh so Spike.
Love him or hate him, Kobe’s basketball skills and IQ are simply unquestionable. A couple of the best lines from Kobe… On stealing Tim Duncan’s patented bank shot, “I swagger-jacked him”. Then, during some free throws he inquires of Kurt Thomas, “You gonna’ play ‘til you’re fifty”?
My notion of the man may have shifted. Just a little.
It’s Tuesday May 26th. Your Western Conference Finals Series against the Denver Nuggets is all tied up and your next game is tomorrow night back at home in LA. You’re Sasha Vujacic. What are you doing right now? You might be getting your eyebrows shaped at the Beverly Center, or maybe you’re listening to your favorite cut off the third Color Me Badd album. You could be sending your Youtube highlight reel to all your friends back home for the 47th time. Perhaps your conditioning your hair again. Your soft, soft hair. Could it be that your practicing? Yes, you are probably practicing that indefatigable defense of yours. Opponents call it annoying, but you know it’s just unbeatable baby. Except when it’s beaten by Chauncey Billups, but you’re not thinking about that right now. Because right now, you’re practicing your jump shot which represents you - unpredictable, hot and cold, fire and ice - the mystery of Sasha. Each time you practice taking that last-second shot. You know, the one where the clock is running down and 20,000 fans are on their feet, holding their collective breath and you’re all alone on the court when suddenly everything around you goes dark- as dark as your hair, your soft, soft hair. Even Kobe fades into the lightlessness of The Staples Center, and you ask yourself the same question that thousands of Slovenian boys ask themselves every day, “what would Sasha Vujacic do?”
A couple of weeks ago, before I got crazy busy, I asked our friend in Portland for one last look back at the season. So, we did a little question and answer about the team that I had hoped would rise above the physicality of Houston and go deep into the playoffs. Here’s the back and forth. Thanks to The Mole and hopefully next year will see a more mature team get a better matchup in the first round. And make a little more noise on the big stage. But that is neither here nor there at the moment. Here’s what The Mole had to say.
FTB: You’ve seen what? Every single home game this year?
The Mole: Yessir! All 41 games, plus the first two home playoff games. I had a bet going with one of my season ticket holders that if I missed a game I would pay him half my day’s wages if I missed a game. Talk about motivation, especially in this economy.
FTB: Nice bounce back from a game one that hurt me personally. Your thoughts?
The Mole: Total change in the two games. It was actually a microcosm of the Blazers’ season. Have a terrible run in one game and come back to look like a team that actually is pretty damn good. It is a Jekyll and Hyde complex with this team, and it usually all revolves with how they play in first quarter. Now, in both games they didn’t play terribly in the first quarter. Yao got hot, got the benefit of some whistles due to his aggressiveness, and obliterated any hope we had of competing in the first game. In the second game, Artest was feeling himself to the tune of 15 first quarter points, but didn’t do anything after that. The difference between the two games was the Blazers intensity and will to be aggressive. This team can play, as seen in their run to end the season, but the consistency of bringing it nightly against upper-echelon teams is still not there in my eyes. But the team is getting a crash course in it now and will be better for it next year.
FTB: It’s been a great season, by the way. And the team has performed in the face of fairly high expectations—not a given for a young team. What has been the most revealing thing that you’ve seen?
The Mole: The team’s resolve and the fact that they don’t get credit for being as tough as they are. Joel played 82 games for the first time in his career while having to back up Oden who got the rookie treatment from the referees (some good calls, other rather questionable) and taking the task of getting charges and guarding the paint. Aldridge slapped the perpetual mouth that is Kevin Garnett in a testy December ballgame. Roy has been playing with a torn tendon in his pinky, just like Kobe, but you don’t hear the press questioning why he is delaying surgery or even talking about the fact that he is injured. I mean I could go on and on. This Blazers team is the hardest working team that I have had the pleasure of watching evolve. No matter what the ailment is they play and give it their best. If they are soft, then I don’t see it. As for the resolve, I believe the win over the Spurs puts a cap on it. 18 comeback victories from 10 or more points is unheard of, especially for the 2nd youngest team in the league. Read More »
Today’s insighful pre-game commentary comes courtesy of an expat Australian living in Japan. He also appears to be a Lakers fan of some significance. We decided to shoot the pre-game breeze and if you head on over to With Malice you can find out how we handled the tough questions like, “Is Jessica Alba really that hot?”
As for me, I went with the “Inside the Actor’s Studio” format for my questions. Ultra minimalistic. A noun only. Here’s how Don Landrigan handled the heat.
1. Andrew Bynum - Big guy that we’d like back for the playoffs. It’s funny, but I think that whilst LA are a pretty damn good team sans Bynum, in the playoffs it’s going to be a different story - having Bynum there gives us an interior presence that neither Gasol nor Odom achieve.
2. Adam Morrison - Our very own victory cigar. Basically, he gets Radmanovic’s salary off the books… really, the game against the Atlanta Hawks was the first time I’ve really watched him play. He has about as much game as Pinocchio. God does he look wooden out there… within that trade, there was also Shannon Brown. He, I could see having a future in gold ‘n’ “forum blue”.
3. Western Conference Finals - Sheesh… they’re going to be tough. Everyone’s pointing at the Lakers and the Spurs as dead-certs to be there. But I think that you cannot sleep on Denver now. Billups has brought a presence of authority there. Carmelo Anthony might be the franchise guy at the Nuggets, but Chauncey Billups is The Man in Denver.
4. NBA Championship - Still a long way off, and nothing’s certain. I’d love LA to get there, but again… nothing’s certain. Should they make it, I think they’ll be a lot tougher proposition than last season. And I think they had to go through last season’s Finals to actually be a lot tougher now. Part of it’s being a season together, but there’s also Trevor Ariza - he brings a defensive intensity that LA just didn’t have last season. But also having been there, and been hammered has given the Lakers a bit more drive. And that’s resulted in them taking on a more physical game. Something they were criticized for lacking last season.
5. Kobe Bryant’s Ego - Huge on a biblical scale… but then he’s got a lot to be pleased about!
Biblical! Chuuuch! Now, off to watch the game. We can all recap the action and/or bitch about our latest shortcomings in the comments in the morning. Thanks again to Don for the transpacific fun.
I am well known for resisting the alleged allure of the purple and gold. And that goes double for the Black Mamba himself, Kobe Bean Bryant. So, if you see this video here, it must be worth noting. Even Spike Lee had to say something.
I’ll even say this. Kobe even seemed more gracious than usual, waving to the crowd when he was done. And so did the New York crowd for that matter, knowing as they surely did that he was setting an all-time Madison Square Garden record. Jordan’s 55: vanquished. Bernard King’s 60 as a Knick: history. But alas, that second number is still one of my favorite old-school memories from a one-time Warrior.
But damn. Try as I might, I really can’t hate too much. Watch and you’ll see why I can’t. Even with an unknown number of annoying tongue flicks, and no video of the misses dude went 19 for 31 from the field and 20 for 20 from the line. I’m not sure I could get those numbers against fifth graders.
If you’re Clipper rookie Mike Taylor, you should probably stick close to Baron and them if you’re headed to the ‘hood to hand out some turkeys. You know, if folks don’t know you then at least stay close to someone that they respect. He doesn’t really get clowned too bad, and Elie Seckbach kind of sets him up, but still.
Actually, more disturbing for all of the Clippers in attendance is all the Kobe Bryant chatter. I mean dang, kids. You got a whole hoop team out to South Central to give you some free ish, and you gotta go and be bringing up that dude all the time? Especially when his squad just bopped on the Clips twice in the first week and a half of the season? That’s messed up. Especially coming from “Lil’ T.”
“…I threw the ball with two hands at first, then developed an awkward jump shot, a crossover dribble, absorbed in the same solitary moves hour after hour. By the time I reached high school, I was playing on Punahou’s teams, and could take my game to the university courts, where a handful of black men, mostly gym rats and has-beens, would teach me an attitude that didn’t just have to do with the sport. That respect came from what you did and not who your daddy was. That you could talk stuff to rattle an opponent, but that you should shut the hell up if you couldn’t back it up. That you didn’t let anyone sneak up behind you to see emotions—like hurt or fear—that you didn’t want them to see.”
-Barack Obama, Dreams From My Father
I’m staying in a lodging facility that places peace and quiet above all else. Thus, there is only one television here. After sneaking out for a couple of hours—to a nearby sports bar—to watch the Warriors/Hornets and Clippers/Lakers games, I returned just as the Barack Obama television event was reaching its conclusion on the community TV. He had just sounded the rallying cry of his campaign’s final week: “We must choose our better history.” And after the perfunctory God Bless America, the room had gone quiet. Until one woman in attendance uttered the phrase, “I hope he’s the real deal.”
This made me think about basketball. It made me think about the games I had just watched. But more specifically, it made me think about the psychology of the game and how this particular sport, more than just about any, cultivates an absolute desire to be the man. Basketball makes you want to be the guy who gets the ball in the last two minutes. The guy who even the most talented teammates defer to. The guy who gets announced last, when the scoreboard is flashing highlights and the game announcer summonses his best ring-announcer hyperbole.
That guy. Basketball makes us want to be him. Like no other sport I’ve ever played.
And yesterday I watched two games simultaneously, my head ping-ponging back and forth between flat screens watching four players vie for recognition as the man. On screen one, we had Stephen Jackson and Chris Paul. Screen two, Baron Davis and Kobe Bryant. Each screen, a showcase of contrasting styles in the man-ness. Each screen a collision of different measures of hubris and frailty. The absolutely critical swagger of self-assurance counterbalanced by the even more absolute weight of the odds against. Which, in the case of these four black men took me back to my beach reading from earlier in the day, to a particular observation made by Barack Obama.
“At least on the basketball court I could find a community of sorts, with an inner life all its own. It was there that I would make my closest white friends, on turf where blackness couldn’t be a disadvantage.”
Reading this quote and the one cited earlier a little differently—considering the “post-racial” Obama politic through the lens of basketball—I was struck by what it infers about the possibility of an Obama presidency. Read More »
Apparently not satisfied with a not-quite title run led by “Little Flying Warrior” (as he is known in China) Kobe Bryant, the Lakers have upped the ante. Their newest acquisition took the Deion Sanders-esque stance of nicknaming himself “The Monkey King” after initial comparisons labeling him the Chinese Magic Johnson seemed insufficient to encompass his skill set. While apparently the full range of his talents were not on display in Beijing, a quick perusal of the nickname’s origins sets the bar for MK, real name Sun Yue, pretty high.
Here’s the story. Original Monkey King, Sun Wukong, was the hero of the classical Chinese epic novel, “Journey to the West.” Pictured, above left, from a television adaptation, his powers are considerable. This accounting comes from the fine folks at Wikipedia.
Sun Wukong possesses incredible strength, being able to lift his 13,500 jīn (8,100 kg) Ruyi Jingu Bang with ease. He also has superb speed, traveling 108,000 li (54,000 kilometers) in one somersault. Sun knows 72 transformations, which allows him to transform into various animals and objects; he is, however, shown with slight problems transforming into other people, since he is unable to complete the transformation of his tail. He is a skilled fighter, capable of holding his own against the best generals of heaven. Each of his hairs possesses magical properties, and is capable of transforming into a clone of the Monkey King himself, or various weapons, animals, and other objects. He also knows various spells in order to command wind, part water, conjure protective circles against demons, freeze humans, demons, and gods alike, to name a few. Unlike most gods, he earned his immortality through battling heaven and earth.
The real issue here is the hair. Dude is not only capable of considerable beardosity, but each of his many hairs are possessive of magical properties. Apparently, he’s also a 6′8″ guard. So, if you’re Monta Ellis and it’s December and you’re lined up on a gimpy ankle against the Monkey King, watch out for the hair. And beware those spells that can apparently “freeze” defenders. End of the game, down one? Forget Kobe. Get the damn rock into the Monkey King’s hands. Unlike others, he’s earned his immortality battling heaven and earth. Monkey King is going to totally rule.
