Tonight, I grilled a two and a half pound tri-tip steak. It was 100% pure Kobe beef. Extravagant, sure. But I was trying my hand at voodoo symbolism. I was hoping to eat myself into a glorious protein torpor while watching that other Kobe catch a hardwood grilling of his own. With Paul Pierce, Eddie House and Leon Powe all hailing from the East Bay, I think I’ve finally found a more legitimate reason for rooting against the Kobeshow than, well, disliking Kobe. Alas, my voodoo steak came up short and the series was extended.
So. With my end-of-series musings on ice (like the champagne in Boston), here’s a little anthology of a couple of hoops-related notes on Barack Obama. First, comes big news from Neighborhoodies. As seen above, the Barack Obama throwback is now available. And the price is nice. Only $59.99. Dude. The best presidential throwback ever. Infinitely more rad than that Gerald Ford Michigan getup. Are there any others? Reagan? Weak sauce all, next to the pride of Punahou.
Apparently, Obama’s also added another hooper/senator to the short list of potential veeps: Bill Bradley. Adding the former New York Knick would easily make for the hooping-est ticket ever and add yet another reason for installing that full-court parquet court in the secret bunker underneath the White House.
The New York Times is reporting that Barack Obama will address an audience in St. Paul, MN tomorrow to claim victory as the Democratic nominee. Meanwhile, Hillary Clinton appears poised to make another sort of announcement.
Mrs. Clinton’s decision to return to her home state to deliver her speech was made at the last minute, and thus she picked an unusual site for a major political event: the Baruch College athletics and recreation center on the East Side of Manhattan.
The most likely situation, some of Mrs. Clinton’s aides said, was that she would suspend her campaign later in the week and would probably—though not definitely—endorse Mr. Obama.
I will refrain from much in the way of further commentary until sometime after the results have been tabulated. But it must be news indeed if the “Gray Old Lady” of American mainstream media is warming up to sing.
Sometimes, Tuesday can’t come soon enough for the hateration. And frankly, though I’ve expressed respect for her campaign from the start, the time has come for Hillary to go quietly into the night. Unless, I am hopelessly and tragically uninformed as an ersatz pundit, tomorrow Barack Obama will reach a significant milestone: he will have received a majority of the pledged delegates at stake in all the primaries and caucuses.
Noting this, and trying to save the Democratic Party from a meltdown fueled by internal strife, the sage minds over at Hillary Please Stop dot com have launched a wee campaign of their own. The idea is pretty simple. Upload a picture or image that demonstrates your simple desire for her to bow out with grace. And for those who might lament the uncounted votes of Florida or Michigan, please remember that these states (and their delegates) were eliminated as punishment for moving the dates of their primaries forward without party approval. Moreover, both candidates approved this decision before even one vote was cast in any of the remaining 48 states. The misleading e-mails being sent out by the Clinton camp are, at best, disingenuously trying to subvert this truth. At worst, they are trying to gerrymander the process that they rubber stamped last year. Enough is enough. A (mostly) fair fight has been fought and now the time comes to focus on the next, and more significant, opponent.
It looks like Hillary and Barak may end up splitting Indiana and North Carolina. Kinda’ the way they’ve been splitting the Democratic votes for months. But why must it be only one?
Now, I’ve been on board with Mr. Obama from the beginning, but I think it may be time to start thinking about how we unite this party. Divided we fall, and all that. So, would we consider the “super ticket”? The Dream Team. For you ice cream lovers, the “chocolate-vanilla swirl” (always a crowd pleaser).
Of course, this kind of mash-up is nothing new in Berkeley. It’s a source of great pride in fact. But, for this country, that would be some real change right thar.
Don? Baron? Who’s with me?
Gd.
Update:
With Obama’s gains last night (dominating in N. Carolina, while Clinton eked out Indiana), Obama should take top billing. If such a combination was considered. As intriguing as it may be, Hillary as VP seems very unlikely to me.
It started this morning when I woke up to find my lady and my dog asleep next to me in bed. Usually I would find this quite cute, but after seeing too many Jason Kidd/Steve Nash morphs, I’m starting to see everything in split-screen, and it’s not pleasant. I think they created this ad campaign in cahoots with Partnership for a Drug Free America. You want to stop a kid from taking drugs? Have Josh Howard smoke him out and then clamp his eyes open Clockwork Orange-style and make him watch a few dozen of these “There Can Only Be One” ads. That kid won’t touch a bong for the rest of his life. Next, they’re going to put Shaq’s torso on Tayshaun Prince’s little bitty legs. And to make it worse, Time Magazine borrowed the concept for their Billary Oclama cover.
It’s all getting too f-ing weird. It makes me think of the Ricky Gervais shtick from his stand-up routine where he asks the question, “If you were going to have a mermaid, would you rather have a human head & fishy tail…or fish head with human bottom?” These are things that nobody needs to think about…least of all basketball fans who just want to kick back, smoke a bomber, eat some nachos and watch a game. I hate the “Where Amazing Happens” Campaign, but I’ll take that over “Where My Brain Explodes Happens.” Thanks David Stern. I’m sending you my psychotherapy bill.
Personally, I want a president who looks comfortable on the hardwood. In fact, Obama’s quick hands netted a few Boom-esque steals while hooping up the Kokomo High Schoolers. His 3-on-3 team, which included Indiana Fever player Alison Bales, took the 15 minute game 15-5.
Now, lets see if we can come up with the victory in the Indiana primary, where he and Clinton are virtually tied.
We had to wait a couple of days after the initial comparisons for the QuickTime artists to bring their mojo, but the inevitable mashups (exhibit A, above) should start working their magic on the Pennsylvania electorate’s “silent majority” any minute now. Hopefully, they’ll still be dustin’ off them shoulders on their way to the polling places Tuesday morning.
If you’re in a hurry and craving understanding, the Jay-Z/Barack moment of synergy is just after the 2:35 mark. If it still makes no sense and you need the remedial course, check it here.
Turman
PS. The playoffs so far? Damn. Okay. If I must. Suns and Spurs were captivating. The Shaqtus is an interesting factor. And two overtimes in game one might make for more drama as the series drags on. Will this put some youthful exuberance back in the Shaq? But can he still contribute in a Shaq-sized way? We shall see. As for the rest of the games? A simple “meh” will suffice. Pretty much what I expected.
I’m feeling Rondo in Beantown though. He’s giving them something unexpected. Of course, they are playing the 37-win Atlanta Hawks, which makes me want to send David Stern some doo doo in a box, but why quibble over sour grapes when surely the foul inequity of this season will be replaced by an equitable system for next year, right? Right? I know BD is dying at home watching the Hawks on his 86-inch Phantasmatron PlasmaVision, just like I am. They need to be at the house instead of the Dubs. Sorry. I’ll talk about Joe Johnson’s niceness on the hardwood, but I will not speak of that roster beyond the Josh Childress line in the sand.
PPS. Props to Hubert White and Samuel Castle-Scott for having 99 problems other than knowing who to vote for. I’m sorry!
Well, with all this buzz of the 3-way tie the Western Conference it’s easy to lose sight of a 3-way race of, dare I say, even greater significance. McCain, Hillary and our man, Obama.
In a MTV Friday News exclusive (now picked up by the likes of CNN) it seems that 50 Cent may have grown some whiskers and is now “considering” backing Obama over Hillary. But still, 50 is confused.
Even with his new recognition, it still does not excuse that Bat Mitzvah gig. And, on mine, Kanye West’s album wins hands down.
Gd.
Um, perhaps I should have held this post for “Hater Tuesdays”.
MTV