If you look at this lame mashup of an image in soft focus, it sort of looks like Mickael Pietrus is about to smash on Corey Maggette. Which roughly sums up my feelings about the early returns from “signing Wednesday.” Which is apparently sort of not unlike our category of “Hater Tuesday,” but without the sarcastic snark. Sure, everyone in Warriorland clearly felt that Pietrus had some rather monumental brain fades over his tenure, but he was kind of like the cute puppy peeing on the area rug. After a while, we got a bit irrational and acceptant.
This brings me to Corey. Now would be the diplomatic time to adjust my stance of the past couple of days, but I’ll wait until the Dubs win their 40th game with a healthy Maggette for that. Sorry, I’m still not pleased and I’m going to turn no further than the straight-talkin’, sharp shootin’ sideline Matt Steinmetz for some backup on this.
First off, Maggette is injury prone. He’s been in the league nine seasons and has played 70 or more games just four times in his career. Maggette’s body says Iron Man; his stats say Tin Man.
Maggette is a great sub, the kind of aggressive scorer you love coming off the bench. He has a shoot first mentality and is a mediocre defender at best. In other words, as a sixth man he’s great, as a starter he’s not.
Maggette has made it clear he wants to start and be a primary offensive option. But he’s the type of high-maintenance player who doesn’t make teammates better. In fact, because he doesn’t create much, there tends to be a lot of standing around when he’s got the ball on the perimeter.
Maggette has never played for a winner. His teams have missed the playoffs in eight of the nine seasons he’s been in the league. The one year a Maggette team made the playoffs was in 2006, when the Clippers made it to the postseason. That year Maggette played 32 games.
Corey Maggette at three years, $16 or $17 million or so … maybe. Corey Maggette at five years for $40 million? No way.
And that, ladies and gents is what one member of the Warriors’ broadcast team had to say. Wow. But the free-agent pains don’t quit. Perhaps just as sad for all of FTB’s new readers to the south, Elton Brand was pillaged from the Clippers tall ship by the 76′ers. Oy. No Brand and no Maggette. Don’t trip though, BD. Al Thornton is nice. But I digress. Former 76′ers owner Pat Croce loves pirates. He even owns a pirate-themed restaurant and museum. Coincidence? Not so much.
I’ve been talking smack about how the finals matchup between the Lakers and Celtics was preordained. But my sources are pretty much, well, me. Now disgraced NBA referee Tim Donaghy has to go and pour kerosene on my little lantern in the form of the following quotables from the Washington Post.
Donaghy told the FBI that referees, whom he referred to as “company men,” helped alter the controversial 2002 playoff series between the Los Angeles Lakers and the Sacramento Kings. Donaghy will be sentenced next month. He claimed that officials desired to extend the Lakers-Kings series to seven games by calling more fouls against the Kings in Game 6. In that game, two Sacramento players — Vlade Divac and Scot Pollard — fouled out defending Shaquille O’Neal. The Lakers shot 40 free throws in the game, compared with 25 for Sacramento. Pollard, now with the Boston Celtics, addressed the allegations before Game 3 on Tuesday. “If it was proven that it was — I don’t know how it could ever be proven that it was — that would hurt,” Pollard said. “That would hurt the league, it would hurt my feelings, it would hurt everybody. That’s ugly. You don’t want that to be true. I don’t want it to be found out that that was true. I would much rather live with human error than human interference.”
Stern’s dismissal? Please make the jump. Many thank yous. Read More »
Did he not accept Tim to be his friend on Facebook? Did he cut him off driving into the Oracle parking lot? Did he call his mama a b@#ch? Seriously, what could possibly motivate Kawakami to dedicate so much time to the Baron Davis contract issue on his “Talking Points” blog for the San Jose Mercury News? There has to be something more than Kawakami’s mosquito’s-sized sphincter that would induce his epic exegeses on the subject. We all know BD had a reputation coming from The Hornets, but the fact is that conflicts of personality and such have been mostly absent since his arrival, at least on the surface (but of course with Kawakami-Vision, one can see far below the surface into the minds of coaches, players and general managers). It’s dismaying to me that in some blog-chatter, there are a few Dubsfans seriously thinking it would be cool to have a Stephon Marbury or Ron Artest trade - Are you F-ing kidding me? Oh yeah, let’s trade “can be moody” for “complete psychopath.” That’s a great idea. Here’s what I know, and what the average fan knows (which is apparently negligible to TK) - Since Baron donned a Warriors’ Jersey,
1. The Warriors have a winning record and have continued to improve.
2. Attendance is through the roof.
3. Golden State is back on the national sports radar.
I’ll take that trend over the unknown of a Baronless Warriors. Everything the coaches and players have said up until this point is that this team has great chemistry and they all enjoy playing together. What’s so hard about taking that at face value? Maybe Nellie benched Baron in the Phoenix game just to give Kawakami something to write about for the next four months? That would be awesome if Baron and Nellie planned the whole thing at half-time just to mess with some no-life havin’, write a billion words a day blogger/quasi-journalist dude.
Yes, Baron is our avatar, but not because we think he can deliver us a championship (are you kidding, we’re true Warriors fans remember?). We chose Baron because he has a swagger that we felt resonated with the East Bay Culture that we know. It’s that value-add that’s hella important to us as fans. But for people like T. Kawakami it’s more important to play armchair GM and pretend to “know” what will make a championship team. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out after this year’s championship between the Lakers and Celtics (unless The Pistons prove me wrong) that to get all the way, you need to have at least two superstars AND a bunch of great role players. Merely trading Baron Davis for Elton Brand doesn’t even get us close. So, unless we’re really talking about doing super duper big things, why bitch about the squad we got? That’s why Kawakami’s brain diarrhea on BD can only be explained by some personal vendetta-type ish or a severe case of pogonophobia, otherwise his talking points on this matter are utterly pointless.
Sometimes, Tuesday can’t come soon enough for the hateration. And frankly, though I’ve expressed respect for her campaign from the start, the time has come for Hillary to go quietly into the night. Unless, I am hopelessly and tragically uninformed as an ersatz pundit, tomorrow Barack Obama will reach a significant milestone: he will have received a majority of the pledged delegates at stake in all the primaries and caucuses.
Noting this, and trying to save the Democratic Party from a meltdown fueled by internal strife, the sage minds over at Hillary Please Stop dot com have launched a wee campaign of their own. The idea is pretty simple. Upload a picture or image that demonstrates your simple desire for her to bow out with grace. And for those who might lament the uncounted votes of Florida or Michigan, please remember that these states (and their delegates) were eliminated as punishment for moving the dates of their primaries forward without party approval. Moreover, both candidates approved this decision before even one vote was cast in any of the remaining 48 states. The misleading e-mails being sent out by the Clinton camp are, at best, disingenuously trying to subvert this truth. At worst, they are trying to gerrymander the process that they rubber stamped last year. Enough is enough. A (mostly) fair fight has been fought and now the time comes to focus on the next, and more significant, opponent.
I know it’s not “Hater Tuesday” today, but I was overcome by the spirit. The whole Lakers/Jazz thing going on over on TNT stirred something in me. I was still at a loss as to who I would prefer to see emerge, and with the game momentarily preempted (at least on this television, tonight), I started searching for my lesser-of-two-evils option online. Now tied and in the fourth I have settled on a Strychnine martini over a Hemlock quesadilla. Go powder blue. I guess.
At least until Kirilenko’s dance-crew video surfaces in time for game six.
Turman
PS. Thanks to the ever-vigilant Rod Benson and his endless reservoir of Boom-Tho-Ness for bringing this microphone malfeasance (back) to my attention. I’m sure I saw this before, or at least knew about it, but my subconscious brain (ever the smarter one) had painlessly removed all recollection. And Tyra. Lord. With America’s Next Top Model momentarily interrupting the Lakers/Jazz game earlier for reasons better left unspecified, you have overrun my evening of hoops appreciation on multiple fronts. Congratulations. You. Have. Become. America’s. Next. Top. NBA. Interruption. And I ain’t forgot that you once dated C-Webb either. Make the jump for my brief ANTM recap. Read More »
Oh man. The rejection. This, from the day before Valentine’s Day, succintly records the single-greatest moment of self-clownation ever suffered by man. The mascot consolation at the end is priceless. The only way this could have been any worse? If the chick had summoned Dikembe Mutombo to come over and wag the finger after this massive rejection. This is like getting a shot blocked into the upper deck. Oh, the humanity. And oh by the way, get ready to say goodbye to the Rockets tonight right after saying goodbye to the Wizards. It’s a five-game elimination two-fer tonight on TNT.
It started this morning when I woke up to find my lady and my dog asleep next to me in bed. Usually I would find this quite cute, but after seeing too many Jason Kidd/Steve Nash morphs, I’m starting to see everything in split-screen, and it’s not pleasant. I think they created this ad campaign in cahoots with Partnership for a Drug Free America. You want to stop a kid from taking drugs? Have Josh Howard smoke him out and then clamp his eyes open Clockwork Orange-style and make him watch a few dozen of these “There Can Only Be One” ads. That kid won’t touch a bong for the rest of his life. Next, they’re going to put Shaq’s torso on Tayshaun Prince’s little bitty legs. And to make it worse, Time Magazine borrowed the concept for their Billary Oclama cover.
It’s all getting too f-ing weird. It makes me think of the Ricky Gervais shtick from his stand-up routine where he asks the question, “If you were going to have a mermaid, would you rather have a human head & fishy tail…or fish head with human bottom?” These are things that nobody needs to think about…least of all basketball fans who just want to kick back, smoke a bomber, eat some nachos and watch a game. I hate the “Where Amazing Happens” Campaign, but I’ll take that over “Where My Brain Explodes Happens.” Thanks David Stern. I’m sending you my psychotherapy bill.
Is it not enough that nearly half of the world’s population wants these guys to win something? No, no. They have to go and get a ‘hood favorite for mad, crazy crossover appeal too. And I’m not even talking about T-Mac yet. I’m talking about Rafer “Skip to My Lou” Alston. Watching him go for 30 against the Lakers and then clown Sasha Vujacic made me happy. But why in the name of Olajuwon can’t these guys seem to do anything right when it really counts? Like, say, in the playoffs.
I know Yao’s out resting up for Beijing, and that deserves a special circle of hate all for itself. But seriously. You guys won like 20 in a row or something. Beat every damn team in the league on the way. At home. On the road. In a car. At a bar. But uh oh. Turn on the bright lights and bring in the powder-blue bus from Mormonville and here we go again. And now they went and dropped the first two at home. To Utah. Of all teams. Utah. A-fricking-gain. I can’t even watch SportsCenter when these guys are still in the playoffs. It just makes the Haterade boil up in me.
I gotta get out one of those And 1 mixtapes now and calm down,
Jeff Wong over at The Score offers us a novel alternative to Earth Day: NBA Blah Day. The idea is simple enough. If you were going to take a “personal day” away from work for the specific purpose of having time alone with your NBA angst, what would you do? How would you spend your day?
Well, for me the answer was easy. Instead of spending what felt like half of my Sunday “bearding down,” I would have simply pushed that activity to the appropriate moment, namely April 22nd. However, fearing the negative workplace publicity that might result, I and my conspicuously pale and considerably smaller chin will be at work quietly suffering (see above).
I should totally stay home though. Doing the shaving thing and blogging the pain away would be way better. And I could leave the TV off instead of watching the hurtful spectacle of the Leastern Conference Playoffs, where, balance of schedule issues left unconsidered, the Warriors would have still qualified for the fourth slot. No, no. I should totally sleep in. Then write for a while. Then go down to the Y and hoop up some poor, unsuspecting high schooler like a good aging, vindictive hoops blogger should, talking the whole time like Gary Payton loose off of five Red Bulls.
Oh my. Take note of the big-ass bearded cake. Nice work Mr. Warren (I meant the cake, not Alba’s growing belly). My only disappointment (and Hater Tuesday shout out) was for D. Fish’s cameo. I’m still pissed at him for tackling Monta, then play-acting for the bad call.
I’ll certainly take the win tonight. Especially seeing as Denver won too. A really great gift for Boom would be to run the table and make these here playoffs!
Regardless, we had great intensity and nice work on the boards. Plus 140 in regulation. Monta, Big Al, Jax and Biedrins all had double digits and the bearded birthday boy had an impressive 33 points, 9 assists and 5 rebounds. Word up, Dizzler. Happy 29th.
