06.23.2008 | 10:46 pm | FTB Top 5, Great Beards in History, Pogonophobia, The Warriors
5. RZA, “Digi Snacks”: Alright, the RZA isn’t really rocking the full beard these days (though he has in the past), but, c’mon, it’s The RZA. The album drops on June 26th, NBA draft day. I take that as an omen that this draft will be good for the Warriors. If only the Warriors had the branding sensibilities of the Wu Tang Clan. Imagine instead of “Thunder” and those weak-ass pizza hurling dudes, we had some kind of elite fighting force of Shaolin monks? And our logo? Look no further than The Wu for a far superior use of the letter W in logo form. They have their own wu-shaped “Wucontroller” for the Playstation for Chrissakes!
4. The Black Keys, “Attack and Release”: Akron Ohio’s The Black Keys are a 1/2 bearded duo, however Danger Mouse produced their new record, and so I’m counting his beard to give them majority beard status. I recommend checking out their video for the song “Strange Times.” It involves Laser Tag. If I was a kid and I saw some freaky bearded man coming at me in one of those black-lit Laser Tag mazes, I’d piss myself. Game over.
3. Fleet Foxes, “Fleet Foxes”: I don’t know much about Fleet Foxes other than that they’re from Seattle and they have beards. I also know I like their name, Fleet Foxes. It makes me realize what a dumb-ass tradition English Fox Hunting is, and how one day I hope foxes everywhere get their revenge. As for the music, it reminds me of the summer I spent with Luke Walton playing bongos to old Joni Mitchell records, and just being free.
2. The Roots, “Rising Down”: I think Rick Rubin and Questlove need to have a “beard-off” for most iconic beard in hip hop. Rick’s beard was way more bad-ass when he was in NY producing hip hop and metal bands. When he moved to LA and became a tofu-eating, meditating, Neil Diamond-producing record executive, it kind of lost it’s power for me. So that’s why I’m voting for Questlove in said beard-off. Plus his afro is as equally iconic. The balding Rubin can’t play on both ends of the court, ya dig?
1. My Morning Jacket, “Evil Urges”: Don’t be deceived by the evolving sound of this band nor shifting hair length of lead singer Jim James. His beard has remained surprisingly consistent over the years. With a boyish face, James looks like a young Civil War soldier before his innocence has been slashed away by the scythe of war. For the full summer experience, go to Thrifty and rent a convertible PT Cruiser and drive to Ukiah listening to the song “I’m Amazed” on repeat. You’ll feel like Luke Walton the first time he took mushrooms with his dad in ‘78.
M. Meschery with the assist from GD
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05.11.2008 | 9:58 pm | FTB Top 5, Obama for Prez, The Warriors
Wow, I actually agreed with about 80% of Barkley’s commentary in this KNBR interview with Ralph and Tom.
Top 5 reasons Barkley seems bearded:
1. Supports Barry Bonds
For what he brought to the Giants even though he says he used steroids
2. Abandoned his Republican leanings
He is backing Barack Obama for some damn good reasons
3. Picks New Orleans to beat the San Antonio
And says he made a mistake not picking them against Dallas
4. Says he actually likes the “Oakland Area”
But still shows no love for San Francisco
5. Admits he likes Golden State (and Chris Mullin)
But says they need to play defense and get a big guy
Can’t say I disagree.
Gd.
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03.18.2008 | 6:43 pm | Beard up Bay Area, FTB Top 5
Ah, the Bay. Unparalleled natural beauty, internationally renowned culinary establishments, great sports, fine museums and our wonderfully moderate Mediterranean climate. That, coupled with a rich history in alternative cultural movements, it’s no wonder that many of the most progressive-minded and generally interesting people make the Bay Area their home base.
Including some legitimate A-list celebrities. It was hard to pick my top 5 (with beards mind you). But here we go:
5. Danny Glover.
His tremendous politics and activism more then make-up for Lethal Weapon 4.
4. Robin Williams.
Academy Award-, six-time Golden Globe-, two-time Screen Actors Guild Award- and Grammy Award-winning actor and comedian. Oh, and did I mention the voice of the Genie in Aladdin?
3. Steve Jobs.
Behind both Apple AND Pixar’s success. Two of the most influential and iconic brands of the decade (this message sent from my iPhone).
2. Sean Penn.
Aka, The Hippie Crip. What can I say, Penn hits the trifecta. This dude is an absolutely stunning actor, a passionate activist for social justice causes and he’s a bearded Warriors fan.
1. Francisco Ford Coppola.
Aka, The Godfather. Film Director, Producer, Restaurateur and Wine Maker. All that, and I’ve never seen the man without a full-ass beard.
Gd.
Make the jump for a couple runners-up. Read More »
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12.25.2007 | 10:54 pm | East Bay Grease, FTB Top 5, Hater Tuesdays, Zee Blog Juice
Back when FTB’s core constituency were just idealistic mini-ballers, we started a nonprofit. Not just any nonprofit, a bunch of us collectively known as FFAAT threw big-ass hip-hop clubs and folded the money into youth-education programs. We totally had the club part dialed. And back then, hip-hop still scared promoters, so we got some pretty big names to perform. Even stacked a little bit of cabbage. The problem was with the youth-education programs. We got a few things to work, but we didn’t know enough about working the system to make the kind of change that could stick.
Fortunately, in the years since, we’ve gotten pretty good at the doing the Internet thing. And we’ve also done some volunteering, some designing, some writing and some actual in-the-trenches, direct-service work too. We’re still not that much better at making the change that we want to see stick, but now we know the people who can. And sometimes, we’ll even do some of the hard work. I have personally driven a van-load of homeless kids to the beach for the day, with KMEL blasting and Cheetos flying. I have documented the work of adult victims of childhood abuse fighting to end the cycle of violence. Meschery got grimy at McClymonds High School with the BUMP Records subsidiary of BAVC and Lil’ B. made their website. Dolin has thrown down good logos for good programs for years. I even did a day of food prep at the SF Food Bank. And most recently, I worked on a site redesign for Roots of Peace, a Bay Area-based group working remove landmines in Angola, Afghanistan and Croatia.
Since this is the end of the holiday season, and I’m sitting here rubbing a belly full of ham, I figured now might be a good time to do something to put more ham in more bellies. Better still, the groups listed below—with one noteworthy exception—are ones that we’ve worked with in the Bay Area, groups that are putting it down for real. You’ll even get to deduct donations made before December 31st on your 2007 income taxes. So if all those nieces and nephews didn’t torch your bankroll, here are five great organizations that will put your extra loot to work. The sixth belongs to our beardsake himself, in partnership with Magic Johnson and Paul Pierce. Get some tickets to their charity game and tell me if Snoop can still hoop if you ain’t feeling one or more of the first five.
And if you’re still with me, thanks for reading this far. I have been truly blessed this year. In so many different ways, not the least of which has been the ol’ FTB. So, thank you for being part of this here family. And whether you are looking for some good karma or some good tax relief, any of the links below will help you get it done.
One love in the double-oh eight and beyond,
Turman
Links:
Roots of Peace;
BAVC;
Generation Five;
Home Away from Homelessness;
SF Food Bank;
and the bonus hit from Boom Dizzle,
LA Stars.
PS. Let the comments overflow with more worthy candidates.
PPS. Hater Tuesdays will return next week with the standard vitriol.
Comments (3)
10.30.2007 | 8:46 am | FTB Top 5, Game-Time Decisions, The Warriors
I need some help finding my game shoes. I thought the community at large might be able to help identify something suitable to rock with my throwback. What’s the call?
1. Warriors NBA Superstars shell toes.
A classic choice with little downside, but I’m not clear on how I feel about the reptilian finish.
2. Custom Warriors ecko unltd.
Sneaker freakish fo’ sho. But Marc kinda’ bugged me with that Barry Bonds 756 ball asterisking stunt.
3. Samurai warrior kicks by Puma.
Inspired by the folding Tatami-do armor of the Ashigiro warriors the foot soldiers of the Japanese Samurai.
4.Custom Warriors Nike Airs.
Look like these may have been hand painted by Thunder. “A” for effort, but, watch and learn.
5. Brown gator especial.
J. Rich, sorry, but I just can’t go there with ya.
Other ideas? I’m open.
G. Dolin
Comments (4)
05.29.2007 | 11:18 pm | FTB Top 5
Update: less than 12 hours have passed since I posted this and now Kobe officially wants to be traded.
And it don’t stop! We at the Beard can’t get enough of the disarray down south. It brings back such fond memories of Laker irrelevance during the Ced Ceballos gone to Havasu era.
Honestly, I need that bitter-beer-faced mug on my shoe like Kobe needs Smush Parker running the point. But at least I can tell you flat out that the shoe is crap. Kobe has to try to tread lightly around his disdain for the current direction of player/personnel decisions by way of hamfisted posts to his blog, a blog that awkwardly manages to bridge the gap between mega-star ego and high-school-ish grammar proficiency with satisfying dissonance.
So, without further ado, grab a cold bottle of Arctic Freeze “Haterade” and sit back for a while. Enjoy, as the Beard presents Kobe’s top five “read the hate between the lines” comments from the official Kobeblog. Who knew that the Lakers’ recent early exit from the show would bear such prodigious early fruit? All posted within the last two days. Wow.
5. “…Dr. Buss requested a meeting with me during the 04 season long before I opted out of my contract, and he told me he had already decided to not extend Shaq, as he was concerned about Shaq’s age, fitness and contract demands. Dr. Buss thought it was best for the Lakers to make a trade to get value for Shaq while they could.” It’s never too late to bash Shaq, while not mentioning his extra ring and his current-year playoff appearance. Hateration: 5.5.
Make the jump to get the rest. Read More »
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05.18.2007 | 10:19 am | FTB Top 5, The Warriors
“Hey Baron, what would you do?”
According to this article, here are five big questions the Dubs must answer this summer:
1. Matt Barnes and/or Mickael Pietrus?
The forwards will test the free-agent market and it’s highly doubtful that both will be back.
2. Time to lock in Baron?
Davis, who had plenty of MVP moments in the playoffs, is eligible for an extension of the six-year max deal he signed as a Hornet.
3. What to do with Sarunas Jasikevicius and Adonal Foyle?
The pair played themselves right out of Nelson’s rotation, but the trick is moving them.
4. Are 7-footers Patrick O’Bryant and Kosta Perovic part of the future?
O’Bryant, last year’s No. 1 pick, spent most of the season either on the bench or in the D-League.
5. More looks for Zarko Cabarkapa, Kelenna Azubuike and Josh Powell?
The three are restricted free agents, and Cabarkapa is the least likely to return
Also mentioned in the article:
The Warriors with Kevin Garnett or Jermaine O’Neal? Both are 6-11 monsters that could run with the Dubs. Obviously a very interesting thought, but highly unlikely based on the team’s plan to keep the nucleus together that could offer enough in a skill/salary offset.
If you don’t read the full article, you should at least read this gem. Nelson dropped by the practice facility Thursday afternoon after a refreshing visit to the dentist. “They gave me the gas,” Nelson said. “First time I’ve relaxed in eight months. It was great. I’m going back.” Ha.
Dolin
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05.12.2007 | 10:11 pm | FTB Top 5, Great Beards in History
I thought I’d take a moment between games to reflect on some other great beards in history. Here are my top 5 full-bearded love tunes. No wimpy whiskers here. I think you’ll agree, that both the artists and their beards have some major mojo.
1. Mavin Gaye – Let’s Get It On
Straight to the point and nothing more effective.
2. Isaac Hayes – Never Can Say Goodbye
Black Moses, need I say more?
3. Teddy Pendergrass – Turn Off The Lights
Pink walls, white suit, clean-ass beard. Teddy so fresh.
4. Curtis Mayfield – Give Me Your Love
Super (duper) Fly.
5. Barry White – It’s Ecstasy When You Lay Down Next To Me
Three Bs – big, baritone and bearded.
What’s your 5?
Guthrie Dolin
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