For a few hours today, ESPN.com was the victim of what is apparently a fairly common hack. They got “Cornified.” Confirmed by some of my more tech-aware colleagues, this is a simple hack that can be dropped into a site’s code with ease. Then it gives site visitors an oddball little Easter Egg. Pop in the requisite keystrokes and bam! Unicorns, My Little Pony, and Hello Kitty all spring into action, covering the site with gut-wrenching cuteness, as seen above.
A quick conversation with an unnamed insider over at ESPN confirmed that they were investigating the hack and that word in the cubes placed suspicion on a disgruntled potentially ex-employee. Personally, after listening to Dave Chappelle the other night I have another theory.
See, Dave went on this extended riff about terrorism. In which, he said that he thought that the only thing that would terrorize mainstream America more thoroughly than a Muslim terrorist organization would be a gay one. Imagine, he suggested, a Gay Al-Queda fronted by Gay Bin Laden. I’ll leave the impressions and the rest to your imagination, carefully distancing myself from his non-PC-ness on this in the process. But seriously, if such an organization were to exist, defacing ESPN.com with unicorns might be a good first blow against America’s raging jockocracy. And certainly worthy of placement in the Hater Tuesday category.
Unicorner, I must reluctantly salute thee. But for the rest of America I caution you to step carefully in the coming days as we must consider the terror alert level now raised to “rainbow.”
From SFist.com: grainy camera-phone shot of Dave Chappelle, on Market Street in San Francisco a couple of days ago.
Dave Chappelle. He pretty much held the title belt for funniest man on the planet for a cool couple of years. And then he dropped into an epic, self-imposed exile that few if any could comprehend, much less understand. But this week he showed up in the Bay Area. And last night he dropped an epic four and a half hour set in Oakland. FTB was there. I was there.
The Dalai Lama was in Berkeley on the same day. I watched as his motorcade sped up University Avenue with all of the ironic security posturing any visiting royal would command. Meanwhile, some hours later in downtown Oakland, Dave Chappelle announced that he had taken BART to the gig. And in some circles his arrival probably carries at least as much weight as the arrival of a religious leader, so great is his gravitational pull. Yet, I can believe him when he said he took BART to his own show. Because of what else he had to say. And to whom he was talking.
When he left that epic $40 million dollars on the table in his negotiations with Comedy Central and decided to go underground, I always had my own suspicions as to why. Last night, he offered a rare glimpse into this decision.
First, he was performing at a venue that was opening for the first time in its renewed form. Formerly called “Sweet Jimmie’s,” the spot was known for its pure Oaklandish-ness and pimptastic improbability. Now, it is reborn as Oakland Town Hall, a perfect forum for a public hearing and confessional. But why were tickets only available through Twitter and then passed out in a bizarre, circuitous ritual? Why an unknown, unopened venue? Because. This is how Dave Chappelle plans to reclaim himself with his core constituency. To hell with the Eddie Murphy plan and the blockbuster films. He took his ten milly from Comedy Central and that’s enough. From here on out it’s about reclaiming his authenticity. And that starts at root level. On the bare, close-cropped stage of the old Sweet Jimmie’s. Starting at eleven thirty and ending at four. Telling stories to his disciples. Revealing just as much as this particular audience deserved. Bridging the gap from Saturday night to Sunday morning. When the dawn broke as I got home, I realized where I had been.
Hey kids, don’t be scared. That’s just the diabolical one – with a bat hat and bad vampire accent. Yes, Biz Markie, making music with his mouth. Actually, that was a great album. Nobody Beats The Biz, The Vapors and Pickin’ Boogers. Classics. Personally, I’ve always been a fan of the Biz. Particularly when he does “Bennie and the Jets.”
The regular season is long gone, and so are the dubs. Now all we have left is this Warriors propaganda. Frankly, they’re going need lots of this in the off season.
How many of these plays do you remember? I, for one can tell you that #6 is etched in my mind. Particularly memorable since “Chocolate Rain” (as MM dubbed A-Mo) did it on Baron Davis and the Clippers crew.
Hey, if season’s got you feeling a bit apathetic, I can totally empathize. I want to throw the towel. But then there are those damn rays of hope. Pulling me back in. Like Marrow’s 37 in his first start! Maybe a visits to GSW’s YouTube page for a tour of the top 10 dunks, assists and blocks will get me back on the bandwagon.
An unlikely tip to come from Snoop’s Twitter feed. Who would have thought Snoop was into some Cali underground-type ish. But then again, this is right up his alley - a feel good West Side-and-ride with the top down-all around-slapper. In the spirit of Living Legends, this new Grouch and Eligh collab featuring Gift of Gab and Pidgeon John is another fine example of when the best of The Bay meets the best of LA. Trust me here, the hook on this joint will be Gorilla Glued to the inside of your cranium for the next week. Be prepared to be whistlin’ this on your way down the hall to the water cooler at work - the cool, cool, water cooler. And just in time for this here pre-summer madness heatwave we got goin’ on. I’m ready to put this on the iPizzle, put a Corona in a Koozie and take my Float Lounge 4000 out on Lake Anza.
Damn, it’s hotter than a pot of neck bones in The Town tonight. This is sleepin’ in the birthday suit weather. I’m going to tell you what’s NOT HOT. That weak-a$$ “Where Amazing Happens” Campaign. With their overly-dramatic, “the lives of 10,000 orphan refugee children hang in the balance of whether or not Chris Paul make this bucket,” arpeggiated piano jam.
CBS needs to take over the NBA again. I mean, Brent Musburger is probably rolling over in his grave each time that TNT intro comes on. Just check out the completely AWESOME theme music above. Doesn’t it just make you want to jump up and punch the sky in victorious, family-fun-filled revelry? Now, I know you think it can’t get much more awesome than that, but yes it can, yes it can my friend. Just click here and let your ears do the rest. This might be one of the most fantastic sports-related theme jammies of all time. It’s like “Up With People” trying to sing a reggae song about basketball. I’m pretty sure that it was after this that they no longer allowed sports event theme songs to be written with lyrics, but that’s just a guess. Too bad though. I guess the song I was writing for Susan Boyle about Lebron bringing The Larry O’Brien Trophy to Cleveland doesn’t have much of a chance of getting airtime. Oh well, there’s always next year.
It’s that time of year. That’s right, you guessed it, the Basketblog Header Playoffs. Sixteen sweet basketball blogs, one prize. So who’s graphic banner will reign supreme? It’s your call.
The brackets have been set and our friends at Pete Marasmitch put Fear the Beard as the number one seed in the “The Grimes Conference” (aka. the independent blog conference). Being the number one seed can be a lot of pressure. But we can handle it. We’ve been training for this moment since we launched this itch.
Here’s the first round match ups in the Grimes:
(1) Fear The Beard vs. (8) The Puns Are Starting to Bore Me
(2) Need4Sheed vs. (7) Both Teams Played Hard
(3) Blaze of Love vs. (6) Red’s Army
(4) Empty The Bench vs. (5) Basketbawful
In the end, there can only be one, so go cast your vote. Polls close on Thursday, April 16, before midnight ET.
For all of you Hater Tuesday fans out there, I’m going to ask you to take a day off from the hate. Instead, participate. This Tuesday night, The Independent Television Service (ITVS) will be hosting a screening and panel discussion of the Baron Davis-produced film “Crips and Bloods: Made In America (premiering on PBS Tuesday May 12th). The panel will be held in LA and will feature filmmaker Stacy Peralta, Deputy Mayor of Gang Reduction and Youth Development Rev. Jeff Carr and community organizer Skipp Townsend. BD won’t be there, but you can, by joining the live webcast and chat at 8:15pm being hosted on the ITVS blog, Beyond The Box
You can also join the discussion online instantly and in real time via live chat or Twitter using the designated event hashtag #itvscc. Simply include #itvscc anywhere within your tweet.
Let’s face it, watching a panel discussion online has to be more exciting than watching the ‘08-’09 Warriors (sorry couldn’t resist a little bit of hate). See you in the chat.
Even those of us who are old enough, can scarcely remember a time when Michael Jordan’s Bulls didn’t seem to win every time they wanted to. And with the Warriors rendered irrelevant and sitting through an off day, this Easter Sunday’s roster of random games came off as rather lackluster. Dude, as Thanksgiving is to football, so should Easter be to hoops. My screen saw the NBA’s spate getting dissed in favor of the Masters golf tournament.
I can’t say I didn’t try, but after a few minutes of blowouts, I was longing for some vintage Marv Albert and the old-school John Tesh-penned NBA on NBC theme song to punctuate the egg hunting and cooking and eating. Instead, I settled for a venerable and rewarding high-def telecast of Miguel Angel Cabrera’s ongoing and unlikely rise from caddy to fat man challenging Tiger for most likeable challenger to the golfing aristocracy.
And so it was. Then I hit up YouTube with the keywords “NBA Easter” and realized what should have been. Feel the warm breezes of a distant spring, where Jordan ruled and Bird’s back still functioned. Where those opening notes from the theme song would throw you back on the couch with their urgency, and you’d watch because you couldn’t afford to miss something like this. Where the resurrection of Larry Legend would eclipse the egg dying. And you’d ate the ham cold. Because double overtime called and you picked up the line.
I would have posted this last night, but after watching The Warriors lose another meaningless game at the end of a meaningless season, I was stricken with complete existential paralysis. I’m surprised I was even able to pour milk in my cereal this morning. That’s the nice thing about the internet though. It’s a nice way to distract yourself from facing your own irrelevant existence. And so it is that I have finally returned to post this little interview with The Lonely Island courtesy of Pitchfork. Just in time for Friday - the weekday where this blog probably sees the least amount of traffic, woo hoo!
Fred Armisen of Saturday Night Live is doing the interviewing. The Lonely Island guys don’t say much but they do let us know they’re from Louisiana and grew up listening to Zydeco. That’s funny because all this time I thought they were from Berkeley, CA. I knew I couldn’t trust those people I’ve met who said they “went to school with Andy Samberg.” People love to lie about celebrities they say they know. In fact, someone just the other day told me that they used to hang with Baron Davis when he played for The Warriors. Hahaha. That’s a good one. Baron Davis on The Warriors - like that ever happened.
