I don’t know this Ash dude that created this mix for the MP3 blog, “Disco Horror,” but man, they must have been digging so deep in the crate they probably have some form of DJ Carpal Tunnel. Actually, “DJ Carpal Tunnel” isn’t a bad DJ name (”Let me get a ‘yes, yes y’all.’ This is DJ Carpal Tunnel on the ones and twos - owwwwwwww!) It takes a certain commitment to rumpshaking to find such obscure disco cuts from artists you’ve never heard of, released on labels probably run out of someone’s basement (Rusty’s Dusty Disco anyone?). Now, I’m not exactly sure why this is titled “Fear The Beard Mix” unless DJ Carpal Tunnel is a secret fan of the blog. Or maybe it’s because he spent so long looking for these songs and making this mix, he had a full-on scruffy by the time he was done. Whatever the reason, I’m glad he did because otherwise my homie, Sorcerer (another connoisseur of musica obscura), wouldn’t have sent it my way, and now I’m going to be slapping this all weekend, owwwwww!
Okay, I don’t know what to say about this. I think it’s bumming me out. This is like every bearded hipster’s wet dream, some cute ukelele-playing chick singing in her bedroom about how much she loves beards. Sorry to burst your bubble bearded dude, but Ukelele-girl is not going to sleep with you just because you have a face rug. It’s a facade. This is the type of chick who thinks hobos are cute. She probably carves little hobos out of soap, or knits baby hobo slippers and sells them on Etsy. But is she going to make out with a hobo? I don’t think so.
I know when many of us in the FTB crew decided to grow beards last year during The Dubs playoff push, many of our significant others weren’t feeling it - literally. Few ladies actually dig the full bearditude (unless they’re hockey fans or Hasidic or Hasidic Hockey fans), so that’s why I’m thinking this video is just a gimmick to get some dudes with beard-related blogs to write about it. The only way this video is any good is if Joaquin Phoenix comes in and drops sixteen bars, and then sticks his gum on her ukelele and walks off. Now, that would be worth watching.
This is the article I never wanted read. How it all went to hell in LA for Baron and everybody lost. And a day after Baron is one rebound shy of an impressive triple double against the more then disappointing Warriors.
I tell Baron he needs to regain his mojo. Warren nods. We both decide that Baron needs to approach the next two months as if he were an actor. He needs to play the role of Boom Dizzle. That’s what they called him during his happier stint with the Warriors. “You’re one of those guys who play with their hearts on their sleeves,” I explain. “When you’re not happy, we can see it.”
Hey Boom, we want you to regain your Dizzle too. And your smile… Peppered, of course, with that game winning fearsome scowl. Wherever you may be.
I’m thankful for your short stint in the Bay – because da’ town regained our mojo and I found my love of basketball again. Unfortunately, now, the economy is in the pisser, the Bay Area’s mojo is fading and blogging is considerably less fun.
Frankly, it’s a bit sad that the Clippers are still stinking it up with the Crypt Keeper while the once overachieving Warriors are simply hapless again. I don’t know who’s worse off. Hey, Ric Bucher, Chris Broussard, what do you think?
Bay Area college hoops represent! With the New Jersey Nets drafting both Ryan Anderson of Cal and Brook Lopez of Stanford last year, they seem to have gotten a draft day two-fer of bigs that have exceeded all expectations. Both are logging long, productive minutes for the team, particularly Lopez, who is a dark horse candidate for rookie of the year. Hell, he pretty much went toe to toe with Yao Ming statistically the other night and he has started at center for the Nets since snatching the job from an injured Josh Boone.
Now, the video.
Don’t hate! Why? Ask yourself. Why are these guys at Comic-Con having so much fun? Because they know that they are outplaying their teammates later that day. Why? Because they got up early and dressed up as Wookies to go to Comic-Con instead of sleeping off the hangover they procured in the VIP room at Scores. Call them nerds. They don’t care. Because their frat is already looking like they might make some noise against those mean jock frats down the road in the intrafraternity challenge. Maybe not this year, but hell they’re only two games out. And frankly I could see Lopez’ voice disorienting the trash-talk focused Kevin Garnett into a lackluster series. Actually, it disoriented me right now just watching the video.
Turman
PS. As so often is the case, props to the almighty Ball Don’t Lie for beating me to the punch.
Last night I got call to go see Cake at the newly renovated Fox Theater. There, in the heart of Oakland’s revitalizing (stimulus package willing), city center, I was treated to good tunes, big bearditude and a trip down memory lane.
I’ve always had a bit of an affinity for the band – formed and fronted by the Berkeley/Sacramento native, John McCrea, Cake may best known for the radio hit, The Distance, now an alt rock classic.
I missed the opening act, but arrived in time to find a good vantage for the headliner. Cake did their thing. A solid performance, no doubt. But, while the fully-bearded McCrea (fig 1.) sang his monotone heart out, positioned squarely between the two super-sized bearded hippy Buddha things (fig 2.), I found myself transfixed on the guitarist. My head swirling with childhood memories.
One of the most arresting images that surfaced during the 2008 presidential election was created by agit-pop artist, Ron English. The Jersey City street artist known for his Illegal Billboards, was commissioned by San Francisco-based UpperPlaygroud to create a design for their Obama series.
Today’s insighful pre-game commentary comes courtesy of an expat Australian living in Japan. He also appears to be a Lakers fan of some significance. We decided to shoot the pre-game breeze and if you head on over to With Malice you can find out how we handled the tough questions like, “Is Jessica Alba really that hot?”
As for me, I went with the “Inside the Actor’s Studio” format for my questions. Ultra minimalistic. A noun only. Here’s how Don Landrigan handled the heat.
1. Andrew Bynum - Big guy that we’d like back for the playoffs. It’s funny, but I think that whilst LA are a pretty damn good team sans Bynum, in the playoffs it’s going to be a different story - having Bynum there gives us an interior presence that neither Gasol nor Odom achieve.
2. Adam Morrison - Our very own victory cigar. Basically, he gets Radmanovic’s salary off the books… really, the game against the Atlanta Hawks was the first time I’ve really watched him play. He has about as much game as Pinocchio. God does he look wooden out there… within that trade, there was also Shannon Brown. He, I could see having a future in gold ‘n’ “forum blue”.
3. Western Conference Finals - Sheesh… they’re going to be tough. Everyone’s pointing at the Lakers and the Spurs as dead-certs to be there. But I think that you cannot sleep on Denver now. Billups has brought a presence of authority there. Carmelo Anthony might be the franchise guy at the Nuggets, but Chauncey Billups is The Man in Denver.
4. NBA Championship - Still a long way off, and nothing’s certain. I’d love LA to get there, but again… nothing’s certain. Should they make it, I think they’ll be a lot tougher proposition than last season. And I think they had to go through last season’s Finals to actually be a lot tougher now. Part of it’s being a season together, but there’s also Trevor Ariza - he brings a defensive intensity that LA just didn’t have last season. But also having been there, and been hammered has given the Lakers a bit more drive. And that’s resulted in them taking on a more physical game. Something they were criticized for lacking last season.
5. Kobe Bryant’s Ego - Huge on a biblical scale… but then he’s got a lot to be pleased about!
Biblical! Chuuuch! Now, off to watch the game. We can all recap the action and/or bitch about our latest shortcomings in the comments in the morning. Thanks again to Don for the transpacific fun.
Thankfully, Kevin Garnett put him on reverse-interview blast and made him promise to burn it. He even makes the cameraman pan down to put the socks and shoes on Front Street too.
Hell yes! Hell to the Y to the E to the S! I didn’t watch one minute of the NBA All-Star festivities because I spent all weekend watching this clip of Joaquin Phoenix on Letterman. Has silence ever been more awkward? The pause more pregnant? And, you know, it really does get better each time you watch it. After about view 20, you will really start to “hear” J.P. You know, like, what he’s really saying. By the 78th time, you will see the fairy hedgehogs appear in the NY backdrop behind Letterman. At some point, I think I saw little Nate Robinson in his green Knicks Jersey run out from underneath Joaquin’s beard and dunk a hard boiled egg into Letterman’s coffee cup. If you turn down the sound and start playing the clip at the exact same time with Chumbawamba’s “Tubthumping,” dude, I’m not even going to tell you what happens. You’re just going to have to try it. Tonight I was going to attempt to watch the clip in reverse, but to be honest, I’m a little nervous that I might not be ready for it yet. Baby steps man.
I’m thankful to J.P. for going on Letterman for so many reasons, and they’re not all metaphysical. For one, I have recently been a bit worried that beards were starting to get “trendy.” I mean, there are more celebrities and athletes out there growing beards, and more media outlets (like ours truly) contributing to the hype. But, man oh man, if Joaquin Phoenix didn’t just make thousands of poseurs go shave their beards off after that. Seriously, J.P. did as much for making beards scary again as did Manson in ‘69 - absolute movement killer right there. Yep, admit it, if you saw Joaquin Phoenix at the BART Station, you would probably move a little further down the platform to make sure you don’t end up on the same car as him. Love it. Now, just can’t wait for the hip hop album to drop. As Dave said, “we all want to be there,” but most of us will probably want to keep our distance.
