In the epic year-long struggle for beard-premacy between Fresno’s DeShawn Stephenson and El Cerrito’s Drew Gooden, a winner has finally been declared. As befitting a man who rather recently declared LeBron James “overrated,” DeShawn Stephenson has officially declared himself the winner of the beard-growing contest that lasted the better part of a calendar year. While Jay-Z hasn’t issued any new tracks to discredit this claim, the Washington Post’s Dan Steinberg is reporting the victory (via SLAM magazine) with some considerable interest. Here’s the scoop.
DeShawn Stevenson is a stubborn man. He made it clear to me many times that there was not a realistic scenario in which he would lose his much-discussed beard bet with Drew Gooden. I fully expected both men to eventually meet their maker while rocking a Methuselah.
Well, I expected wrong. Drew Gooden may be a fine NBA basketball player, but he evidently lacks DeShawn’s untrimmable will to win. From the profile of DeShawn in this month’s issue of SLAM:
“Beyond the material stuff, No. 2 also gets love on the streets. Like a Capitol Hill politician, the Washington guard gives dap on the streets and autographs hats at restaurants. Maybe folks recognize the facial hair. (’By the way, I won the beard contest with Drew Gooden. He cuts his. I need my money, too, Drew!’)”
And then, boom, that’s it, the story moves on.
Is it really that simple then? I really thought that Drew would have more in the tank. And I’m not sure that we’ve heard the end of this. But just the same, make the jump to see what else SLAM’s interview revealed. I’ll even gratuitously link to most of the other learnings, including how DeShawn’s “I Can’t Feel My Face” celebratory gesture has been matriculating through polite society. At least according to Mr. Steinberg’s esteemed readership. Read More »
July 21, 2008
I saw Baron Davis and Steve Nash riding a tandem bike. Strangest thing…this just happened on Friday on the Santa Monica Pier! Does anyone know what is going on here????
- WallyWest03, YouTube user
I love the letter O. And not just because it’s the first letter in my hometown, the shape of my favorite breakfast cereal, or because it’s the first letter of my candidate’s name. It’s bigger then that (and I don’t mean Oprah).
O is among the oldest ideograms. In ancient cultures it has represented every thing from our better half, woman. To the Sun, Moon and Earth. It symbolizes larger conceptual constructs as well, such as; eternity, virtuous cycles and the circle of life (I can hear the Lion King song now). As a letter, it is said to have been inspired by a similar Egyptian hieroglyph for “eye”. It can mean everything, or merely be a vestal. O is pretty big stuff.
The fact that O is so big, so vast, and all encompassing is why it was absolute genius for Obama’s team to make it their logo. The big blue sky surrounding the setting sun above the rolling, fruited plains. Striped in red and white, of course. Friggin’ genius.
Click here to include your own hopes and dreams in the mighty O.
Last year, I attended the home opener of the Cal football season. Upon entering the stadium with another Cal alum and Bay Area native, we were approached by a young woman soliciting support for the tree sitters. My companion, who once ran unsuccessfully for District 5 Supervisor in San Francisco, losing to my onetime building-mate Ross Mirkirimi (who, would likely sympathize with the tree sitters, but I digress) split the difference on the talking points. The conversation went something like this.
“You guys want to support the tree sitters?”
“Probably not. But, we hear you. Where are you from?”
“Tennessee originally, but I live nearby and I love walking through this grove.”
“Actually, I’m from Berkeley. Don’t you think that living in the trees might not be beneficial for them? And moreover, this stadium is almost 100 years old and build atop a live earthquake fault, wouldn’t it be a tragedy if lives were lost because it couldn’t be retrofitted?”
“But these trees are sacred.”
“Don’t they abut one of the largest undeveloped tracts of land in the inner Bay Area, one filled with similar groves, and hasn’t the university pledged to redouble efforts to reforest in exchange for what seems a necessary improvement to public saftety? There are 75,000 people walking into this stadium right now. Shouldn’t they be safe? Actually, I’m sorry, this is going to sound rude, but are you a student?”
“Well, I was.”
“Well so were we. We also grew up here. What about those guys in the trees? Any of them from here?”
“Well, I don’t know. Not really, I guess.”
“So what if most of us would like it if they came down?”
“Well, I guess that’s your opinion.”
“Okay, thanks. And good luck. But just understand that we’re okay with you doing this because we want you to be able to speak your mind. But frankly you’re wasting resources. Resources that could plant trees. Resources that could retrofit stadiums and make people safe. Resources that we all need. But we’re going to watch some football now. Y’all need to figure this out and fight a bigger battle.”
And we went into the stadium. But I’m far from done on this. Read More »
I think there is still a spot on The Clippers bench to get Dale and Antonio Davis too - maybe at a two-for-one price. Baron must have some cousins or something who can hoop, right? Hook them up as well.
Okay, let’s face it, none of the moves by The Warriors or The Clippers this off-season have realistically put either team on the playoff contention map. So my suggestion is to just change the map altogether. The geographic map that is. Let’s just move both teams somewhere down the coast, like, San Luis Obispo, and combine our efforts Votron-style to form “The San Luis Obispo Wappers,” or the “SLO Wappers” if you will. See, that was easy. Now, “The Wappers” might be a playoff contendor in the West. And that’s still a “might be.” As it stands now, I don’t see either team doing much damage. Sorry to hate, but you know what day it is.
Oh, and by the way, in my scenario, there’s only one Davis that makes the squad.
There was a time when Andris Biedrins was a little-known mid-first round pick with a look that could be charitably characterized as “Dumb and Dumber”-esque. Some time later during that first season, he was even considered by many to be a likely first-round draft bust. His fortunes improved greatly the next year with the arrival of Baron Davis. Suddenly, the pick and roll was his best friend. Suddenly, some of BD’s less calculated drives to the basket netted him easy putbacks. Suddenly, smart and well timed passes started to find his soft hands. But then he really found the magic.
He found the gel.
Now on the brink of out-coiffing Andrei Kirilenko, Biedrins has just re-signed for six years and $63 million. This means that he has but one choice: go for the strong stuff. I didn’t know that Stormin’ Norman Schwartzkopf came out with a rather unlikely line of hair-care products in his post Desert Storm life, but judging from the Biedrins-like image on the tube, this seems like just the stuff to take him to the next level. We’re gonna need a cool 18 and 10 from AB for the next half-decade or so, and I say go with what works. When he was sporting the Jim Carrey, he was a non factor. His hair rose, and so did his game. Now he’s the richest man in Latvia. Pump up the volume. I want to see some Edward Scissorhands type ish on opening night next year.
And if this Schwartzkopf dip proves unable to stand tall into the fourth quarter, might I recommend Bed Head Manipulator. Here’s a cool deal on a three pack. This should carry you through the All-Star Break. And I can guarantee that it can stand up to 42 minutes of NBA action and long rides in fast converitibles, all of which will be on your soon to be formalized “Oh snap, I’m the man!” agenda.
Tostas Andris!
Turman
PS. Make the jump to see a Latvian toast, apparently filmed by the crew from “Blair Witch Project.” Read More »
I think that if they made a silhouette of my head it would probably look like the outline of a Cheeto. And we’re not even gonna mention the Rorschacian spittle that would represent me in mid-air attempting a dunk. Nope, you got to have a significantly iconic look for your figuration to be branded on a shoe. Apparently, ?uestlove has got the look of shoe-worthiness.
According to the Roots’ blog on Okayplayer, the “Nike (h)Air ?uesto 1″ has arrived - get it, (h)air? Yes, the man has got the epic fro, but let’s give the beard some credit here too. It’s really the full facial hair package that makes ?uestlove unique (well that and his use of punctuation in his name and his supernatural musical abilities).
And while we’re on the subject, I can think of someone else with a distinctive portrait and a shoe sponsor - one whose image might fit just perfectly on the ball of an old school Reebok Pump. Anyone else feelin’ the “Pump BD-Time?” Reebok, you smell me? What more can I say. Our design team is standing by.
F@#k MTV. One moment Christopher Cross and Styx were on top of the world and the next they were gone, deemed unmarketable. All because they looked like, well…musicians. MTV came along and if you didn’t look like Simon LeBon, and after that N’Sync, and after that Usher and the douche from Creed, you were irrelevant. Now, reality TV and the internet have killed MTV the same way MTV killed the radio star decades earlier - and good riddance. Because finally chubby, balding bearded dudes, who ten years ago would have had to settle for being Dave Navarro’s guitar tech, can take the stage and own it.
Just look at how awesome Tim Harrington, lead singer of Les Savy Fav, looks in the pictures above! If the man-boob nipple slip isn’t an FCC fine-worthy wardrobe malfunction, I don’t know what is. He looks kinda like a fat Will Oldham. Which is perfect because I don’t want my musical idols to look like the cast of The Hills. I want them to look like this guy. Rock stars should be dangerous and who would you be more scared of, Tim Harrington in a dress or the Good Charlotte twins? Okay, those twins are super scary, but Harrington is even scarier, and in a cool way. Anyway, where I’m going with this is if you look like a homicidal fry cook at a Waffle House, then my band needs you. So put on some pounds and beard up rockers - the time is now!
M. Meschery
If you want to see an awesome LSF video with an even awesomer bearded puppet, make the jump Read More »
To make up for the loss of Baron Davis at point guard, as well as the departures of swingmen Matt Barnes and Mickael Pietrus, The Warriors have ended a busy off-season with the signing of Evree Wan Entheymama on Friday. After initial attempts failed to get the two biggest names in this year’s free agency, Elton Brand and Gilbert Arenas, Golden State decided to take a different strategy by signing a series of smaller contracts which included Evree Wan Entheymama to fill out their bench. Warriors General Manager, Chris Mullin, appeared at a press conference earlier in the day and expressed confidence in his new acquisition:
“It’s good to feel like we have every position covered. And by signing Evree Wan, we feel like we’ve done that. We will be able to really take advantage of mismatches on defense, and spread the floor on offense with both a powerful inside and outside game. It’s going to be tough with a lot of new guys on the court, but with Nellie’s experience, I think he can coach Monta, Corey, Ronny, Stephen and Evree Wan all at the same time.”
The Warriors were also looking at signing another well-known overseas player, Todo Mundo, but decided upon Entheymama for more versatility. This signing will undoubtedly put Golden State over the salary cap, but, according to Mullin, the front office felt that this move exponentially increases their chances of getting into the playoffs and would be worth it. Evree Wan Entheymama will report to training camp in Hawaii in October, and that’s when the press will get their first look at this new, very deep Warriors team.
I remember watching this live. I’m not ashamed to say that it made me cry. Pavarotti called in sick for the performance that was to accompany his lifetime achievement award. Needless to say, the orchestra had already been ordered up. The choir. The arrangements were locked. Word went out among the world’s greatest musicians: who would be willing to stand in for Luciano. And sing in his key. In Italian. A year earlier, she had quietly enrolled and been accepted for study at the Julliard School in New York to study classical piano. While it is not known how much of that study included multilingual arias, this much is clear. She destroys the track.
The only sad part is that this clip doesn’t show the before and after shots of a bewildered Sting, who introduced Aretha bracing the audience for a “best effort” under bad circumstances. Afterward, he wore the stunned expression of someone who had suddenly realized the profoundity of his own musical shortcomings. But it wasn’t his fault. As onetime Mick Jagger paramour Marianne Faithfull remarked: “The voice of God, if you must know, is Aretha Franklin’s.”
