Actually, I did know what was going to happen. And most of the people in the vicinity of Section 107, Row 8, seat 6, can vouch for this. The incongruously attired Warriors fan in the “I LeBron NY” t-shirt walked into the arena and stated before the tip off that David Lee would go for 40. The man seated to his left, laughed and said, “and 20 rebounds.”
Neither of us saw the 10 assists coming, but the rest was fully expected. Honestly, it was the most workmanlike triple-double I’ve ever seen. I’m not even sure that people in the arena were aware of what the dude was doing. Granted the 10th assist was a bit of a gift, given that there was a pump fake and a pivot involved, but seriously. I was ready to buy a lottery ticket after seeing such rarefied ballitude.
Instead, I got on BART. There, I ended up seated across the aisle from a woman who had DeShawn Stephenson-level facial hair. “This has to be an omen,” I’m thinking. Walking home, I decided to stop into the local sports bar and see if I can get confirmation that Lee’s feat was as rare as I thought it was. Instead, I ended up getting a tarot reading from a red-wine-addled medical Mary Jane spokesperson and stripper named “Bella Mafia” who is apparently also getting a PhD in psychology.
She didn’t tell me that David Lee had done something that hadn’t been done since 1976. Or that Kareem Freaking Abdul-Jabbar was the last guy to do it. Or that Abdul-Jabbar also did it against the Warriors. She did tell me a whole lot of other stuff though, much of it eerily accurate. One nugget: that I tend to have visionary insights but lack follow through.
That nugget is precisely why I’m sitting at my computer right now. Because I had the insight and then witnessed some actual NBA history. That’s why we watch. This is the follow through. David Lee, I salute thee. It didn’t even look difficult. Which means that you are for real.
Turman
PS. Props to Atma Brother One at Golden State of Mind for the invite, futurecasting, and company at the game.
In the last couple of days, it has become clear. The Golden State Warriors are for sale. Also clear is the fact that you, Larry Ellison—of Oracle Corporation, as well as the recent America’s Cup victory—appear to be the leading candidate to purchase the team. Mr. Ellison, I would like to propose a partnership of sorts.
Let me explain. If you don’t mind, I would like to posit a radical alternative to traditional ownership models. Actually, it’s not really that radical when you think about it. It’s an ownership model that your company—Oracle—already employs, that of a publicly traded corporation. It’s nothing new to you. In fact, your history of running this particular corporation shows me that you are uniquely qualified to balance the needs of shareholders against the opportunities and decisive action that running a large-scale enterprise requires. Let’s just do this in a different arena, so to speak.
Essentially, the ask is this: buy the Warriors and take them public. Be the guy who gives the team back to the fans who still believe.
Think about it. First, you would instantly become one of the most revered figures in Bay Area sports history. You would have liberated some of the most loyal fans in sports from the tyranny of incompetence. Just buying the team would be liberating, but I say take it a step further. Of course, you’d still get to be “the man” and exercise a controlling interest—just like at Oracle. But there would also be a board of directors voted in by shareholding fans. Instantly, the team becomes a model franchise and a cause célèbre, a rarefied story of We Believe becoming something more like We Are All Warriors. Read More »
After a brief hiatus, we now resume our regularly scheduled absurdity to report on the firing of Clippers GM Mike Dunleavy, Sr. Why wasn’t he fired as GM when he was relieved of his coaching duties some weeks back? Is there a long-term solution being lined up? Or does Donald Sterling just like being unpredictable because it adds to his air of being a mysterious and incompetent owner.
Personally, I think that Baron Davis’ beard would make a fine GM for the Clippers. Boom’s Beard has proven to add valuable swagger when clutch decisions are needed. It’s basketball IQ is off the chart. And if it can make Chris Kaman an all-star, well, I think that seals the deal. Besides, I would pay good American Dollars to hear David Stern say on draft day: “…And with the eleventh pick, Boom’s Beard and the Los Angeles Clippers select…”
Apparently, I’m not the only one who’s nostalgic for the good old days of the NBA on NBC. Particularly the theme song. Which, of course was written by John Tesh. Yep, that John Tesh. Ever wondered how he wrote it? Wonder no more. Watch as the erstwhile host of Entertainment Tonight, explains the song’s origin. And then plays it live. It’s like eight kinds of awesome dipped in magic pixie dust.
But the origin myth revealed is the best part. Because he came up with it in exactly the same way we can all recall it. Go ahead, hum it. Without much provocation, almost any serious American fan of basketball can kinda half hum, half sing the song. Which, as this video shows, is exactly how he wrote it. That said, the enthusiasm with which he plays “Roundball Rock” is really something to watch and learn from. Who says you can’t just Nietzsche up on being something nobody thinks you should try to be. John Tesh wanted to play music and a lot of us laughed when we first heard about it. And yet he went on to write what is arguably the best song about basketball ever written.
John Tesh, forever linked to my memories of Michael Jordan-era Bulls game Sunday brunches and Marv Albert’s hyperbolic game intros, I salute you. And sometimes when I walk into my local gym, I might be humming this song.
The good folks at IBeatYou dot com are again sponsoring a best-beard contest. No, you can’t win by putting up a picture of Katie Holmes. Actually, maybe you could win by putting up a picture of Katie Holmes. And, now I’m gonna get sued by a crazy pint-sized Scientologist. All because Baron’s having another contest. Okay, let’s try this again. Enter, win some kicks. Try not to get sued.
Be careful out there,
Daniel Turman
PS. Looks like Anthony Morrow’s knee might be on the mend. The Warriors can’t get his shooting back in the lineup soon enough. As for his Twitter game, he’s starting to become a must read.
When I first caught wind of this, I was sort of pissed off. I mean seriously. Come on college kids. Think of your own damn concept. But no. You take the name. The PaperBeard™ idea. Certain graphical elements. And yeah. Did I get an e-mail? Nope. A “Hey, we’ve got this really rad bearded point guard and we want to borrow your concept for a few months? Is that cool?” Not so much.
Not cool, Kansas State. Not cool.
On the other hand, I’m not all that perturbed really. Jacob Pullen, the bearded point guard in question, clearly has ignited fan interest in a team that just knocked off highly ranked rival Texas last week, before dropping one to Oklahoma State. They’re eleventh in the country. Their best player has signature facial hair. And half of the home crowd has on a PaperBeard™ during the game. I can’t really hate on that. As much as I would have liked for FTB to be consulted before the hijacking, there’s so much that’s right about this that I’m more inclined to get on the Pullen bandwagon. I mean seriously, how can I not look at the scene and want to pull for them? How many people can turn on the TV and see a prominent college baller rocking an Abe Lincoln beard on his way to 19 points a game with the student section wearing PaperBeard™ and t-shirt ideas stolen from them?
Well, three of us at least.
In fact, I’ll probably start following and covering their games every once in a while. They play Baylor tonight. Not sure where that finds a home on my 800 channels of hoops but I’ll poke around. They sit third in the big 12, where often annoyingly sanctimonious Kansas teams always rule with an iron fist. I’ll do some more scouting on Pullen, but the short is that he’s an explosive six footer originally from Illinois. Maybe I’ll even call the PR department over there in Manhattan Kansas and see if I can get an interview request through. Or a couple of press passes and a Fun Saver fare on Southwest.
After all, they do owe us something.
Turman
Props to the bloggers at (irony alert) Larry Brown Sports for connecting the dots for me.
Today would have been Dr. King’s 81st birthday. This excerpt, from the speech “Silence is Betrayal,” speaks volumes as to his currency in memorium. But, rather than obscure his message with prose of my own, I would rather let a preacher preach. Listen.
However, emulating his oratory tradition I will say this. Today, perform the chores and duties of daily life today with vigor and conscience. Perform them with virtue. Perform them with purpose. And perform them with a voice that is audible to the moral compass that is within us all. It is still time.
In honor and memory,
Turman
A complete transcript of the speech is available for those who want to read. You should. Read More »
It has been reported by multiple sources that legendary soul singer Teddy Pendergrass died today. He also possessed one of the all-time great beards. Rather than extensively recount his career, I would rather just leave you as he might: with a song. In this clip from a 1975 episode of Soul Train, he appears as the lead singer of Harold Melvin and the Blue Notes, singing the exceedingly timely “Wake Up Everybody.”
While we were all out ringing out the “oughts” and ringing in the “dimes,” hopefully Gilbert Arenas was making some resolutions. About how he ought to have been acting. You know, not pulling a gun on a teammate? Not storing multiple firearms in his locker? Beefing with teammates in general? Paying back debts on time? Twittering less?
Well, for today at least I’m glad he put off that last resolution. Instead, he broke his Twitter silence (ostensibly, he had refused to tweet until he had 1,000,000 followers) in spectacular fashion to respond to the breaking allegations that he had pulled a gun on Javaris Crittenton. In the locker room. Over an unpaid gambling debt. A quick perusal reveals some thoughts from a man I’m not so sure should own firearms.
Why bother with a publicist or digital-media guru when you can rip off gems like this all day? And don’t wait for a professional to help you defend yourself, when you’ve got Javaris’ homie, Kendrick “Bookie Ball” Long, chopping it up with the New York Post about what went down.
“I’m not your punk!” Crittenton shouted at Arenas, according to a league source close to the Wizards.
That prompted Arenas to draw on Crittenton, who then also grabbed for a gun, league security sources said.
A playground pal of Crittenton’s from Atlanta, Kendrick “Bookie Ball” Long, confirmed the locker-room standoff and said he learned of it directly from the third-year player out of Georgia Tech.
“He [Arenas] was f- - -ing with him; he [Crittenton] was just defending himself!” declared Long, who said the dispute was over money but would not elaborate.
Really? Not one, but two players packing burners in the locker room? Of an NBA team? And just any NBA team, but the one that saw recently deceased owner Abe Polin change the franchise’s name from the Washington Bullets to the Wizards over heightened sensitivity around gun violence in the nation’s capital? And one of them is managing multiple beefs with multiple teammates? You have got to be kidding me. Perfect time to have some guns around. You’re awesome Gil. You never know when you might have to just go all Agent Double-O-Zero on Brendan Haywood for cracking wise during your interview. To the Washington Post for that tidbit.
He calls out his teammates with vague insults such as “The players who care are frustrated. The players who don’t, don’t care.” He made remarks about fellow captain Caron Butler after one practice that led Butler to call him and demand an explanation. Once, his veiled references to “hidden agendas” among his teammates during a postgame interview led Brendan Haywood to sing Beyonce’s “Ego” in the background.
Playing the “what if” game for a minute, can you imagine what might have happened had the Warriors re-signed Gil after Baron bounced for LA? They tried. Thank God they failed. Him and Stack Jack might have had to go all Hamilton/Burr in the tunnel after a close loss ended with a wild three from Jack. Not to mention the fact that Gil was injured for almost two full seasons, while making a cap-crushing eff-tillion dollars.
Suddenly, the name Corey Maggette sounds a lot better to me,
I suppose it’s appropriate that this decade began with George W. Bush as Time Magazine’s “Person of the Year” and ends with, the architect of W’s economic policy, Ben Bernanke getting The POY. Yes, in between we had some Barack Obama, Giuliani, Putin, and, the worst POY ever, “You” (as Peter Sagal from NPR said , “if ‘we’ truly controlled the media, we would have picked a much better choice for the Person of the Year issue”), but this decade came in with the bang of 9/11 and The Enron Scandal and out with the whimper of a “slow and jobless” recovery from the worst recession since The Depression, so Bush and Bernanke are the fitting faces for those craptastic bookends. I think it’s also fitting that Bernanke has a beard. Afterall, Beards haven’t been as popular in a given decade since The Beatles went all Beardy in the early 70’s. Yes, Bernanke has one of those academic-style beards, giving him a less Geithner/Paulson-slimy look and more of a professorial pretentious look. But like Jeff Daniels’ character in The Squid and The Whale, just because you are smart and have an affable-looking beard, it doesn’t excuse you from being a total asshat. Thanks for helping nearly ruin beards along with the economy, Ben! If only Bernanke would grow his beard according to interest rates. Then right now his beard should be at “near zero.” I’d be much more comfortable with that.
As for Bay Area Sports, the 00’s have been an overall bust. Sure, we had a Superbowl appearance by The Raiders in ‘03, and The Giants got to the World Series in ‘02 (both L’s), but the decade was overshadowed by Bondsball, Moneyball, Smallball, Al Davisball, Jed York-Santa Clara Stadiumball - all of it shitty. Why is it that the only consistent winning in The Bay involves a sport with a puck? Holy Mother of God, how could we have such a fustercluck of sports dysfunction in one geographic area!!!??? It must be some kind of World Record. At least we can claim that, right?
Fortunately, a few of the decade’s bright spots were also the drivers of success for this little blog - The We Believe Team led by a bearded Baron Davis, an East Bay Rennaisance of sorts, a Beard Rennaissance of sorts (many contributors to FTB bearded up and down along the way) , and The Obama Election. All of those things kept us inspired enough to keep writing our musings and some folks inspired enough to keep reading. So, we’ll see what The 2010’s bring us and, hopefully, we here at FTB will continue at least a little while longer. Afterall, if Baron becoming a Clipper didn’t shut us down, a new decade surely won’t.
