As basketball season approaches, I thought it was time to resurrect our “48 Laws of Power As Applied to the GSW’s” series. You know you missed it. And, to be honest, I did too. There’s nothing more Machiavellian than the world of professional sports - often grown men playing games within games.
To illustrate as much, Matt Steinmetz has an interesting discourse on the subject of Stephen Jackson’s contract. According to Steinmetz, Jackson’s putting his good buddy “Bobby” Rowell in a bit of a pickle by letting the public know that The Warriors have committed to giving him a contract extension.
It looks like Jackson might have learned a thing or two from the Baron Davis experience of this past summer. See, Baron committed to Warriors fans even when he knew that the organization hadn’t committed to him. He wanted to use fan support for leverage. Unfortunately for Baron, fan support isn’t worth a hill of eight dollar Churros to Rowell. So, what does Stephen Jackson do? He puts Rowell on commitment blast saying to the media that Rowell has already committed to extending his contract. In my opinion, this is a bit like Janet telling everyone in the apartment building that Larry says he’s going to marry her. It might seem like a good idea, but do you really think Larry is going to give up wearing leisure suits and carousing at the Regal Begal?
Jackson might be right. He and Bobby might be playing golf together right now, and giving Rowell some public encouragement could be the thing to get Rowell to commit to Jackson in the next couple weeks, but ultimately I don’t think Jackson putting Rowell on Front Street matters much one way or the other. Rowell, obviously, doesn’t care much what NBA players or fans think of him or the organization, and besides, players and owners just trot out that tired idiom “it’s just business.” And in this business, not committing to anyone is a big part of the game which usually nets a win-win for players and owners. It’s just the fans that lose (The Raiders, for example, haven’t committed to excellence in a long time, yet their fans are still committed to them). Maybe it’s time for the fans to stop committing too?
I didn’t even see it. I was driving home from a weekend in the mountains. Who cares about the Olympics? I went for a five-mile run in the shadow of Mount Lassen. I ate a bacon-wrapped steak. Swam in an alpine lake. I was living it up. Kobe who?
Oh yeah. That guy. Once I got home, I booted up the old ‘puter to find out that the Redeem Team had trounced China. Copped the video from YouTube. Quite a few dunks. A whole lot of dunks. Nah, no need for any layups when the Beijing-ers clearly would prefer to see the home team play against Americans doing dunk stunts as if on Kung Fu Theater wires. “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Vince Carter”-style. But after it was all over, leave it to Kobe to say just the right thing to a billion slightly bummed out people. He’s good like that.
“Look, I had five dunks in one game. That’s because of the crowd. Last time I had five dunks in a game I was like 17. So that’s all because of the energy in this crowd,” Bryant said. “I think they knew that history was being made tonight and obviously it was a proud moment for their country as it was for ours. You could feel the electricity.”
Good thing GW Bush was on hand in case anyone needed a second opinion as to how we’re like totally dominant. And cooler than a Panda bear’s toenails. It’s the electricity, yo.
Just so we’re clear on this, y’all know that China holds enough of the United States’ national debt that if they call in the chips we’re all like totally firkin’ farkin’ finished, right. Please, my house notes of the future and I would ask, politely, for a few more layups. And a couple of nicely worded, respectful statements.
And if you think I’m tripping, remember that our national debt is now sitting at $9.5 trillion. That’s more than $31,000 for each of us. Of that 31 large, China’s percentage of the holdings is the second largest. And with a centralized government, the bank that we’re borrowing from can decide that they don’t want to lend us any more scrilla faster than moms used to put the cookies up. And that would put the clamps on my camping faster than $10 a gallon gas. Oh, but wait, with fewer purchasers for our public debt, the feds would have to tax something, so maybe we’d get that too. Oh man. Where’s my remote. Serenity now! Off to the Water Cube I go. Where’s the soothing voice of Bob Costas when I need him?
Know who you’re talking to folks. Keep it classy.
Turman
PS. Go USA anyway. But dang. A lot people are kind of hating us right now. Actively. Let’s not assume that everyone on the hardwood is stoked to get whomped on. Especially not the host country.
“Solitude is dangerous to reason, without being favorable to virtue…Remember that the solitary mortal is certainly luxurious, probably superstitious, and possibly mad.”
- Samuel Johnson, 1709-1784
Chris Cohan has been called the anti-Mark Cuban, not because he isn’t a complete tool like Cuban, but because, unlike Cuban, he’s totally invisible and doesn’t open his wallet with generous abandon for his team. As for Cohan being a tool, I wouldn’t know because I’ve never met him, nor have I ever seen him at a game, and most likely, neither have you (Franklin Mueli is more visible). Cohan’s reclusive nature can’t be a good thing for the Warriors organization and especially not now. Granted, if I was the Warriors owner from 1995-2006 I wouldn’t want to show my face in public either. But last year something happened, and it involved Cohan finally doing something right - not being himself.
There is a particular sense of terror we Warriors fans are feeling this off-season. It’s like when your alcoholic dad got sober for a couple of years, but you still thought that any day could be the day he falls off the wagon again. It’s hard to trust that things are actually going to be different, right? I’m half expecting next week to find out that Mullin and Nellie quit and Baron was traded for Stephon Marbury.
Let’s call it the “Cohan Effect.” The only way to avoid the Cohan Effect is to open up the decision making process a bit, even to the fans. Cohan has finally gained our very tenuous trust. If he wants us fans to keep coming to the games in record numbers and buying his poorly-branded schwag, he must hear us out. In this era, the fans have all the power. There are a zillion other distractions out there and we’re not going to wait three or four years to see if a “project player” becomes a star. This is the season that Cohan proves himself as an owner, as a caretaker of our city’s basketball team and a part of the public trust. He can’t do this in isolation. If he closes his wallet, closes his mind, and closes the gates again, we just might have to storm the castle and take this team for ourselves. Look no further than Green Bay, Wisconsin to see how it’s done. Power to the people!
“Nothing is more terrifying than the sudden and unpredictable”
That’s why I just about crapped myself when Nelson put Marco Belinelli in yesterday’s must-win game against Memphis with 2 minutes left in the first quarter. Okay- I wasn’t that worried that we were going to let this game go, but still, Nelson finally made an unpredictable decision that paid dividends. His other capricious moves this season haven’t proved so successful, most notably the Chris Webber reunion; Unpredictable? Yes. Terrifying? Definitely…but only for Warriors fans.
Here’s the deal, if you’re Easy Rawlins, you got to have your Mouse to run with. Not all the time mind you, but every once in a while you need to come crazy. I doubt Nelson is employing the “It’s so crazy that it just might work” strategy. Don’t count on seeing Kosta Perovic go mano-a-mano against Tyson Chandler tomorrow. However, this type of thinking is great for the hype machine. Last year’s unpredictable Warrior run channeled the inner “Old School” in all of us. All of a sudden, the Warriors were the underdog fraternity that anyone could join, from Jessica Alba to Old Blue, and we proved that the oddballs could beat the odds. Everyone loves that story. The question is, can it happen again? Is Azubuike this year’s Matt Barnes? Can the Italian sharp-shooter and the awkward rookie with Mr. Fantastic-like extremities come off the bench and help the Warriors make one last stand in the toughest inner-division play in NBA history?
One thing we do know right now, is if the Warriors come out with the same predictable 6-man rotation with no ball movement, lots of one-on-one play, lots of threes, and not a lot of getting back on D, that’s not going to terrify any opponent. You don’t have to be Lao Tzu to counter that strategy. Nelson has to do something to shake it up these last six games. The question is what will it be and is it already too late to take such risks? I believe Robert Greene would advise in favor of the unpredictable, and give us some historical exemplar like Stonewall Jackson’s victory at Shenandoah with 4,500 men over the Union Army of 90,000 - very “300″-ish (but too bad he was leading the wrong side). Anyway, I leave you with this, from one Jackson to another, Stonewall to Stephen:
“Always mystify, mislead, and surprise the enemy, if possible. Such tactics will win every time and a small army may thus destroy a large one”
Matthew “Makaveli” Meschery
PS - who’s up for “Beards and Bloody Marys” tomorrow morning T-Rex, Berkeley?
This is one of the more difficult of Greene’s laws to apply to the NBA. I understand the economics of it, i.e. “create value through scarcity” and “too much circulation makes the price go down,” but let’s look at our friend Mikael Pietrus. By not playing right now and fretting over re-injuring himself while some other Warriors would play with a wooden leg and one eye just to get to the playoffs, has Pietrus raised or lowered his value as a player? I would answer that his stock has gone down. Consistency, dependability, and tenacity have a much higher value than absence in the talent-saturated NBA. Those are the qualities that increase respect and honor. If Pietrus proves himself now as a player that a team can depend on in the crunch when his team needs him, he will have a much higher value than if he sits out the rest of the season and goes on the market this summer. Pietrus - are you getting this? Somehow I don’t think Air France does a lot of reading. Just a guess.
I would strongly advise NBA teams to not fall into the trap of over-valueing and romanticizing players in their absence, i.e. The Mavericks with Jason Kidd and, absolutely, The Warriors with Chris Webber. I would even tell the Wizards to not get their hopes up with Arenas. Yes, their comeback gets hyped-up, their stock goes up, but it rarely pays off. It would be an interesting experiment though to have a player in his prime just take off a year, just for the f@#k of it. Like, imagine if a Chris Paul or Monta Ellis, decided to take the year off next season and play in, say, Uzbekistan (Monta, don’t get any ideas). Do you think their stock would go up when they came back to the NBA? I doubt it.
The NBA is “of the moment.” Fans are fickle, “out of site, out of mind,” and no matter how raw you are, there will be someone else there to take your place, and you will be forgotten. That’s why Baron Davis playing every frickin’ game with maximum effort this season guarantees him major juice at the negotiating table. I’m pretty sure that Baron read Greene’s reversal of Law 16:
“Remember: In the beginning, make yourself not scarce but omnipresent. Only what is seen, appreciated, and loved will be missed in its absence”
With that in mind, I think Boom Dizzle’s gonna have a good summer. Now, if only MP would learn from the pros, he might be one himself some day.
“If one ember is left alight, no matter how dimly it smolders, a fire will eventually break out.”
Notice how in the movies the good guy has to kill the bad guy at least, like, ten times before the bad guy finally dies? Well, that’s because the good guy, being a good guy, is compassionate, empathetic and is not a total psychopath like the bad guy, so he, or she, doesn’t really take pleasure in completely eviscerating his, or her, opponent. Let’s look at The Dallas Mavericks: you’d think Miami beating them in the finals would have been enough, but no, they had to come back the next year and have The Dubs humiliate them in historical fashion, and now, somehow inexplicably, they’re resurrected for another playoff contest - classic bad guy. They’re like the Terminator T-1000 of basketball. Could someone lower Dirk Nowitzki into a vat of molten steel please?
The Warriors, in particular, have a problem with following Law 15 of “The 48 Laws.” Maybe it’s because many of our guys have classic “good guy” personalities (even Stephen Jackson is sensibly re-casting himself away from his bad boy reputation). Maybe we don’t dominate teams because it’s not in our nature. You know that look that Kobe gets on his face, that smug half-smile? That’s the look that says “I don’t care if you’re the Sonics and Luke Walton could beat you by himself, I will take great pleasure in degrading your lowly franchise even further.” It’s a sadistic level of competitiveness that, frankly, the Warriors could use a bit of right now.
The win over the Clippers was a step in the right direction. It would have been easy to feel sorry for the Clips, with all their injuries this season, and let them back in the game, but we showed no mercy and handled them the way we should have handled some of the other sub-500 teams we previously lost to.
Tonight, going into the first of a back-to-back against the Lakers, Law 15 needs to be the mantra. If we get a lead at all, even a comfortable lead, we cannot let down our guard, we cannot feel a tinge of leniency, we cannot compromise our position in any way. Let’s out-Kobe Kobe and let the haters hate. Or as the 15th century samurai, Asakura Norikage, said, “The warrior doesn’t care if he’s called a beast or a dog; the main thing is winning.”
This picture says it all - “partners in crime.” Or maybe it says “partners in ‘Father-Son Halloween Beer Bash.’” Not sure, but I know it’s awesome. Plus, it definitely looks like Nellie’s idea. He’s like, “C’mon son, let’s go down to the sports bar dressed like Shawshank Redemption and get shit-faced. It will be fun as hell!”
As I write this, The Jazz are puttin’ it on the Mavs which could be further evidence that Donnie Nelson is in fact working as a spy for Papa Don. I think Nelson called up Donnie and was, like, “Hey, what do you think about mortgaging your future for Jason Kidd and maybe even knocking yourselves out of the playoff race this year? Whaddya say?”
I’m really hoping that’s what happened, and I’m hoping that Donnie gave his dad the entire Mavs playbook before the playoffs last year. Sure, it wouldn’t make me feel good knowing we cheated to win in the first round, but it would make me feel even better to see the look on Mark Cuban’s face when he finds out Donnie was working as a spy. It would be the same look that your old hesher friend from high school had when he found out that Rob Halford from Judas Priest was gay, like twenty years later - realizing that his entire macho bullshit life had been a lie. That’s how I want Mark Cuban to feel, and if there is a god, it will be so.
“Watson is playing very well in the D-League, and we need some help”- Don Nelson
If CJ Watson, the Warriors new D-League call-up, continues to play as he has after his first two NBA outings, the Warriors front office could be the most successful in the NBA in exploiting talent out of the D-League. As Nellie stated above, the Dubs needed some help in the point position supporting Baron. Instead of going with trading for an un-proven NBA player, why not try a proven “Law of Power” instead. An on-the-surface appeal to “help” in a time of need is all fine and good (someone to help fill the hole left by J-Rich, or help with back-up point guard duties), but going to the D-League is all about appealing to a hungry ball player’s self-interest. For guys like Watson and Azubuike, they could probably care less who’s jersey they’re wearing as long as it’s an NBA team’s, and not, say, uh “The Sundsvall Dragons” (No offense to Scottie Pippen). Yes, the Warriors need Kelenna’s and CJ’s help, but Kelenna and CJ need the Warriors even more. They know this is their launching pad to a career in the NBA. For the Warriors, it’s a financially “low-risk” wager that could pay big dividends.
I like how Mullin and The Dubs are using “Law 13.” They did well capitalizing on Indiana’s desire in expelling Jackson from their squad, and came away with a winning trade last season (The Pacers weren’t doing us a “favor” by taking Dunleavy. We were doing them one by taking Jackson). And The Warriors have done a great job so far with the young and yearning players they have. Now if only Pietrus would cooperate and start playing up to his potential. That would be in everybody’s best interest.
Monsieur Longoria had a pretty good game by any accounting. But seeing him getting all chummy with Boom Dizzle’s consigliere (Cash Warren) and consigliere’s squeeze Ms. Alba before the game set me to wondering. Wasn’t Parker about to do battle with The Beard? Shouldn’t he be getting all mean and competitive or something?
Which brings me to law 12. Because when Parker dribbled the ball off of his foot to end the Spurs’ chances I couldn’t help but think that Baron was in his head. Of course Dizzle also went off for 34 points, 14 assists and 6 boards, and this without even a single turnover. In 48 minutes. Against the defending NBA champions at full strength. That’ll get in your head too. But I’m wondering what these three brought as a gift to that big fat French wedding. Could it be that the well-meaning generosity and honesty with which BD seems to live his life disarmed Monsieur Longoria’s killer instinct? Tonight, oui. With an assist from the courtside crew.
Now seriously people. The man is an all-star. Vote him in already. He’s started the night seventh in the league in assists and seventh in the Western Conference in points. He relishes the fourth quarter and plays more minutes than anyone but Iverson. Send The Beard to New Orleans.
This may prove to be the heretofore undiscovered 49th Law of Power. Disarm your enemy with an unexpected swagger check. I thought I had it pretty dialed with my patented, Paul Newman-style wink. It’s disarming, distinctive, and a gesture that when used selectively can confuse and disorient event the most aggro of douchebags*. But Baron may have topped it by blowing three-fingered kisses to the crowd and the Lakers. How do you come back from that? You don’t. That, my friends, is the hallmark of a primo swagger check.
Turman
*In a bizarre postscript to the knife-flashing incident that Dolin referred to earlier in the week, I ran into the same douchebag a week later at a show. Recognizing him, I shot him a wink. Coolest shit I ever did. Ultimate swagger check. Cool Hand Luke-type shit. Baron should totally start winking at cats on the court.
