Okay, I haven’t bought the book yet, but, between the illustrations (by Jacob Weinstein) and the interactive excerpts (like the one in the widget after the jump), I’m putting it on the top of my list for 2009. Frankly, the fact that it’s positioned at intersection of culture and basketball (with colorful pictures) puts it firmly in FTB’s wheelhouse.
Penned by FreeDarko’s “chief operative”, Mr. Bethlehem Shoals, the book is described as follows:
The Macrophenomenal Pro Basketball Almanac functions simultaneously as the ultimate basketball book for the ultimate NBA fan as well as the ideal sports book for the person with no interest in sports. This book will satiate the passionate sports fan’s desire to see athleticism legitimized as a cultural element extending beyond mere cro-magnon brawn.
Within the pages of this tome, NBA hoopery collides with Japanese noise-rock, municipal politics, experimental zoology, Belgian surrealism, and behavioral economics like never before. The mystical deities of this hallowed league of professional basketball are finally given the treatment they deserved, as they are scrutinized not as men, but as embodiments of our own core cultural values and insecurities.
Whereas past sports-literary endeavors have attempted to paint sports as a metaphor for life or life as a metaphor for sport, we depict the National Basketball Association as a universe unlike any that one would encounter in daily existence. The NBA is a sphere in which Indiana farmboys, housing project messiahs, African tribesmen, and escapees from war-torn Eastern Bloc countries, coalesce by the nature of their superhuman physicality.
The excerpt from “When They Were Mayors” is kicked off by one of FTB’s favorite subjects, Stephen Jackson. And while the illustration may be a tad unflattering (seen above), they do make a good case for his future mayoral candidacy of Port Arthur, Texas. At least I found it far more convincing then Elton Brand running in Peekskill, NY. Certainly Clippers fans have seen how Mr. Brand treats his campaign promises.
Regardless, you can learn more about book here. And, make the jump below to take a look at the fore mentioned interactive except widgety-thing.
In the golden age of Superheroes of the hardwood, Stephen “Frozone” Jackson was partners in glory with Mr. Incredible, Baron Davis. With Mr. Incredible exiled to the Clippers and both teams struggling, Frozone is apparently ready to flex his superpowers, one of which is talking. After Sunday’s game in L.A., he spoke rather freely to Marcus Thompson II of the Contra Costa Times about conversations he had with Baron a day earlier. And then he went and nominated himself President of what he termed the “Bring BD Back” to the Dubs campaign. A little research tells me that it doesn’t sound like Mr. Incredible put him up to this, but I suppose reluctant superheroes sometimes need a push. And like Frozone is want to do, it appears that he’s ready to take matters into his own hands, laying down a sheet of ice upon which he can glide right into Robert Rowell’s office for some personal lobbying. But enough of my analogizing, here’s Jack in his own words, courtesy of MTII and the Coco Times.
“That’s all we talked about,” Jackson said. “I went to his house, spent some time with his mom and his grandmother. He wants to come back. And if he wants to come back, I want him back.” Jackson [also] said he’s going to be the president of the “Bring B.D. Back” campaign. “I think that would be great for us,” Jackson said. “Coach loves him. Him and (guard) Monta (Ellis) have good chemistry. If they could work that out, that would be great for the organization.”
Frozone sure knows how to put the cool in being a super. By putting his boss on blast, of course! And since he’s able to freeze the moisture in air quicker than you can say ice, he can glide through any trouble that this might create, right? Well, we might just see. If Jack can work that Frozone magic on Robert Rowell where Chris Mullin couldn’t, he definitely gets the key to the city from me. Perhaps he’s not to be underestimated. After all he did successfully negotiate his own deal with Rowell, and he and Bobby are reportedly pretty chummy. Who knows, maybe he’ll be remade as the first player/GM in league history. But jokes aside, if anyone has leverage in the corner office, it might just be the man with the power to cool folks down at will. Because certainly any deal would involve some “emotional repositioning statements” from the front office. But as with any half-good rumor some interesting possibilities are already lighting up the Internets, most notably these.
First, there’s the matter of the other guy in the muscle suit. You know, the alleged super who is nursing a hamstring injury into double digits in terms of games missed. Well, apparently, Clippers owner Donald Sterling never really wanted to see Corey Maggette go. Hmm. Second, Mr. Incredible hasn’t really been himself in Cryptkeeper Dunleavy’s slow-it-down offense. Third, the Warriors have several possible point guards that could be packaged with Maggs to make the salary-cap numbers work if the vibe were to be right about making a deal. Marcus Williams anyone?
There doesn’t seem to be much to this right now, at least in the sense of any dealmaking, but let’s have some fun with the rumor and/or innuendo. And let’s see what the vibe is around these parts. It’s probably not a huge surprise to guess where we FTB’ers stand on such a possibility, but let’s take a little vote and hear from some of y’all in the comments.
Turman
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PS. The Dubs pulled one out tonight to make it two out of the last three. Not a bad night. Marco continues to toughen up before our eyes and Frozone went for 30 points, 7 assists and 7 boards.
I’ve never had a beard with much heft to it, and so I’ve often wondered for those with more bearditude, is getting “stuff” caught in it a big problem? I mean, sure, if you’re a hobo or a Borneo Headhunter, it’s probably natural to have stuff in your beard occasionally, but for the average fully-bearded dude, I kind of doubt there are a lot of unaccounted for Cheetos disappearing in the dark matter of man-moss. But then again, I could be wrong. According to the good people over at Stuffinmybeard.com, the beard is “nature’s bib.” This leads me to believe that my ancient ancestors were fed up with getting mastadon blood all over their chests, and thus, nature has provided the males of our species the Darwinian utility of the beard (sorry ladies).
I’m not quite buying it, but nonetheless Stuffinmybeard is doing big things in the world of beard-related blogs, and for this, they deserve our praise. Based on their logo, it looks like they may have been “inspired” by our “Beard Up Bay Area” campaign with it’s famed paper beard, and if this is so, they deserve our praise again.
Ah, if we were only so singularly focused! Unfortunately, we have to waste countless hours watching NBA League Pass, or awaiting the unforeseeable Hyphy revival, and then try and blog about it. With the way our favorite Western Conference teams are playing and the Bay Area music scene so far under ground it’s barely a tremor beneath our feet, and the economy crumbling, maybe we should become more beardcentric and try and cash in on this beard blog gravy train? Afterall, a beard should be good for catching gravy, right?
Perhaps it wasn’t fair to leave you with two unholy musical spectacles. And while the Warriors seem to be imploding both on and off the court, we really do have much to be thankful for.
Like the fact that FTB’s own Michael Marshall made his second appearance on Warrior’s Weekly this season. This time showcasing the single, “Money Makin’ Music”, featuring long time collaborator Equipto. Some much needed Bay Area cheer.
We sure hope everyone is having a great Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa. But about that little gift against the Cs tonight? I’m not saying I’m without all hope, but if I were you, I’d be counting my other blessings.
I felt compelled to bring the confusing spectacle of Reh Dogg back for one last holiday hurrah, but don’t take it personally. It’s tagged Hater Tuesday on principle, but the sentiment is anything but. Here’s to hoping that everyone out there in FTBville has a happy and safe holiday. Love to you and yours and all of that.
I didn’t even realize that awesome could be this awesome. And as a consequence, I weep for our collective lameness. Christopher Dane Owens is, on the surface, pretty hateable. But he’s also the creator of this impossibly awesome confluence of multi-dimensional cheesiness. And boy does this clip change everything. It’s like he got a 20 every time he rolled the big Dungeons and Dragons dice of life. And then rolled all that good luck up into four minutes and seventeen seconds of YouTube greatness. Sure, it took a huge, largely self-funded budget (he’s a well-paid TV producer by day). And sure, it’s a bit confusing, but when you’re trying to pack this much awesome into 4:17, sacrifices must be made. But don’t listen to me, here’s Calabassas, CA-based Christopher in his own words, courtesy of the LA Times.
My character is part of the witches kingdom, which is the second kingdom. I’m actually part of their army and an enforcer, a general, if you will. I meet that young lady Arra who is secretly being trained by the angels and they hand her a book. That book is the book of golden symbols which can only be understood by the spirit, by the living soul. She’s being trained secretly to be the queen of this realm, to overthrow the forces of darkness. My character actually meets her and falls in love with her and decides to leave the dark side, so he has an epiphany.
Dude, wait. What? That’s totally some Narnia meets Final Fantasy, has sex and makes an awesome, unhateable three-headed baby type ish. In other words: awesomeness redefined by spectacular geek-out overload.
The rub? Try watching it twice. You’ll start feeling weird. Okay, three times and you’ll survive. But not four. Four? Four is the tipping point. Four views and you will be living in your parents’ basement, wearing virtual-reality goggles all the time, playing World of Warcraft 22 hours a day, and your best friend will be someone you don’t know who’s screen name is “Gorf the Avenger.”
Turman
PS. Read the whole LA Times piece here. Oh, and the Dubs got crushed by Jameer Nelson and the Magic again, losing ugly on the road to match their ugly home loss of just a week ago. Sweet.
PPS. Props to Dolin for the steal and Meschery for the assist.
The history of Hip Hop is littered with bad merchandising ideas. Anyone remember such classics as The Master P Doll, Ruff Ryder’s Fitness Videos, DMX’s clothing line for dogs, and the infamous Wu Cologne (because all the ladies want they man smellin’ like Ol’ Dirty Bastard, right)? Then you have examples of bad merchandise that stems from good merchandising ideas (well sensible at least) like Luke Campbell’s porn videos, Paul Wall’s Grills, and the never-ending parade of “Juices” that keep showing up at my corner liquor store. It’s rare when a good idea gives way to some good merchandise. And that’s why we can thank the good people over at Quannum Projects for never considering “Blackalicious Barbecue Sauce” as a vertical integration strategy.
Instead, Quannum Projects has teamed up with Shoe Biz in San Francisco and Reebok to create four sneakers inspired by Blackalicious, Latyrx (Lateef & Lyrics Born) and DJ Shadow. These limited editions go on sale the end of this month, and they actually look like something that you might want to wear (vs. some shoe/collector’s item that would just sit on a shelf next to 499 robots and crates of rare import Japanese vinyl) The official release event is Dec. 26th at 4pm at Shoe Biz on Haight Street. So for all y’all who got coal in your stocking this year, you might want to make up for it by heading down to Shoe Biz and copping a pair of fresh kicks, listening to some quality music, and snacking on some wine and cheese. Do they serve wine and cheese at shoe release events? Okay, maybe some “Shadow Water” instead.
The ongoing marginalization of Chris Mullin by team president Robert Rowell has now spawned its first official grassroots effort in support of Mully. Save Mully dot com launched recently, in what may prove to be a vainglorious anger-inducing pinprick to the man who is quickly becoming Bay Area hoops’ answer to Al Davis. But on this point I certainly agree: a great Warrior does not appear to be getting a square deal and now is the time to make our voices heard. And with this site’s help, a quick protest letter can be fired off to the heedless team management. They are certainly preparing a digital Mt. Mutombo to block any dissent into the nearest electronic trash bin, but something has to be done to try and pull Mully out of the Lane Kiffin memorial lava pit.
So do your part and let the accountant currently holding our team hostage know that we’d rather have the basketball guy at the helm again. Because, for a lot of us a “great time out” also involves watching a well-thought-out roster play high-quality basketball. And for the past few seasons at least, this portion of the vision was handled at a respectably high level by Mullin. Rowell as the “decider” vis-a-vis basketball operations, has thus far only handed us a lack of veteran leadership and a series of increasingly frustrating losses, interrupted only by wins against only the league’s worst teams. Moves will need to be made in Mullin’s capacity, but preferably not by the guy who’s idea of innovation is putting pizza delivery guys on Heelies during timeouts. And anything we can do to reinforce this idea is worth a couple minutes out of the workday.
Turman
PS. Fear the Beard is not affiliated with Save Mully dot com, despite the obviousness of the shared sentiment. So, Cohan/Rowell, it’s not me you’re looking to litigate with.
I’m pleading with you Don, no more “DNP – CD” in the box score for Mr. Randolph. Please. And, while we’re at it, let’s get B. Wright in there a bit more too. If the Warriors are going to be successful they’re going to need strength at the forward position.
I’ve heard the arguments. The one about giving the team a chance to win and all that. But, let’s face facts, the Warriors chance of making the playoffs this year is a tad less likely then Ron Artest winning a Grammy for “My World”.
Don’t get me wrong. I can see we have lots of interesting pieces and some of those, individually, display plenty of promise. But, as it stands, this is no Western Conference Playoff team (or Eastern for that matter). Really, who are the Warriors going knock out? Utah? Phoenix? That’s the current 7th and 8th seed respectively. Even Dallas, who still have their core intact are currently out of the picture, riding 9th place. I just don’t understand the logic.
So come on already, let us see some dang youngsters in development. Look, Corey is out, Jackson’s been struggling and, while he has had some success, I can’t see Rob Kurz as the future of this franchise. He’s a role player at best. You’ve given “The Lasagna” a bit more leash the last couple of game and that seems to be paying dividends, even if it’s just raising his trade value. So what’s the downside? Put in the best 6-10 ball handler the Warriors have seen since, ah, well, the C.Webb era, and let ‘em learn.
Seriously, if I have to spend the whole season watching this, I swear, you’ll see some shoes flying from Club 200.
I guess I missed this little press release from the NBA a week ago. Apparently, TNT’s coverage of the NBA All-Star Game will be presented at over 80 digital theaters around the country in HD and 3D. Not really sure about this one. Maybe this whole idea was cooked up by Dwight Howard because pretty much the only way he was going to top his Superman Dunk from last year is if he actually came out of the screen, flew at you and bopped one on your dome. Now, if they can only combine this with “Smell-o-vision” for the real on-court experience, but then again, Yao Ming’s musky man odor might not help sell too many bags of popcorn.
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