This Hater Tuesday, hate ‘em all: bailout fail edition.

09.30.2008 | 8:02 pm | Hater Tuesdays

It’s not often you see House Representative Barbara Lee reaching across the aisle to grab her some hot Republican palm in solidarity, but this week is different. And it’s different for a most unique set of circumstances. Namely, it’s about to be Dust Bowl II up in this ish. With elected representatives scared off of their asses by the prospect of explaining a $700 billion bailout to their little foreclosurevilles back home during voting season, the most monumental financial bailout in United States history was put on indefinite hold. Repubs are blaming Pelosi, while Dems are saying, “WTF, this came from your main man GW?” And all of us are sitting here wondering if anyone will ever loan us another dime. Or moreover, is that even a good idea.

By pure coincidence I happen to be in the NYC. The epicenter of Ground Zero II. Which, if you really think about it does bear some strong degree of connection to the wartime spending spree that commenced as the dust settled from the original Ground Zero. But all of that is for another blog somewhere with more time. What chaps me is the fact that we have been given far too much to hate about the current financial crisis and not nearly enough to love. So, it being Tuesday, I’m going to bring in a guest. Today’s hater of the day is a noted mechanical engineer of the green variety who goes by the name of David Youmans. While he’s not developing solar cells of the domestic variety, he’s doing things like clean-water projects in Tanzania. Or maybe building more efficient stoves for Darfur refugees so they don’t have to stray across enemy lines for firewood quite so often. What’s his take?

Simple. We earned this. Debt by petty debt. And we deserve to fail. Completely. Now, that’s a Hater Tuesday concept. Hate ‘em all. Here’s the first paragraph of his diatribe for free. Make the jump if you feel the multilateral hate bubbling over.

Turman

From special correspondent David Youmans: Here are my mostly unfounded thoughts on US economic collapse, backed up by very little statistical data and my limited knowledge of the world affairs and history.

Rearranging the Deck Chairs on the Titanic: Our system is too broken to fix itself. Watching our leadership scramble to fix this problem is like watching a scary movie where the killer has gotten into the house of the teenage girl who is home alone. The whole audience knows she should run outside to safety, but what does she do? She runs upstairs clutching the first weapon she can find, a candle holder, which she will limply lob at the attacking madman who will let it bounce lightly off his shoulder before he cuts her to pieces. Our government has no idea what’s really going on and there is so much partisanship and politics involved that no decisions are being made based on economic logic. We need to hit the reset button, and the only way to do that is to have everything collapse and the American people kick everyone out of the present discussion and start over.

China: Everyone is worried about China (and its record of human rights abuses) becoming a dominant global power and a threat to the US and democracy. However, at this juncture their economy is still inextricably linked to ours. Nonetheless, that may not be true for long. The US economy is going to fail at some point (see item 1). Just the same, if the US Economy fails now, then China will come crashing down with us and we’ll both start at the bottom. If we wait a couple decades, then China will just watch us crumble with smiling faces and then ship their shitty low-wage jobs overseas to obese, depressed Americans. Obese Russians too. Granted, if we are also concerned about American national security, we will need a plan to protect our stockpile of WMD’s so that they don’t fall into the wrong hands. Many of same are outstretched and waiting right now. Suddenly, this would also have to be a main priority of our crippled national government during and after the collapse.

Global Warming: The US currently creates 25% of the pollution in the world, but houses only 5% of the population. We are using up the resources of the world at an alarming rate, which is contributing to environmental destruction and global warming. This isn’t really a debate topic to anyone not named Palin. These are issues that will eventually make this planet a very difficult place for humans to inhabit and create a world far worse than the one that would result from the immediate collapse of the US economy. The collapse of the US economy would greatly curb our use of resources (most of which we steal, or muscle weaker countries into giving us at low prices) and slow down the rate of environmental destruction. (Anyone looking for a PhD dissertation topic?) The key sticking point here? How do we continue to develop renewable energy technology with a non-functioning economy. My answer here: World War III. The War on Fossil Fuels. World War II brought America out of depression. The country had a single mission and we threw our back into it. The government printed tons of money to fund the war effort and we built tanks, planes, bombs, and so on. The War on Fossil Fuels would operate much the same way. The US government would single-mindedly fund the rebuilding of our energy infrastructure based on distributed generation and solar and wind power. This would create a shitload of jobs, bring manufacturing back to our shores, and build an economy based on clean energy production. As opposed to the current one based on the tired tenets of the military-industrial complex. Sadly, however, without a complete economic collapse, the entrenchment of the fossil-fuel industry into the political arena, and the corresponding inability of the government to entertain the strategic longview, will never let this happen.

America has gone soft: After 50 years of unheralded economic prosperity, Americans have come to always expect the free lunch. With cake. And we want to eat it too. Then we want to pinch a loaf and eat it again. And then we complain about any little hardship that may come our way like a little baby who got his toy taken away. A collapse of the US economy would put us through the hardship we need and end the complacency already. It would thicken our skin and remind us of the values of hard work and conservation that our grandparents had burned into them by the Great Depression.

Super Sam and Global Sustainable Development: The US has decided that it is the superhero that will come and save the rest of the world. We will bring democracy to your country, whether you want it or not, build you a modern infrastructure and we will flood your country with cheap food and clothing under the guise of foreign aid. Most of the time, this results in the removal of more money from the country on the receiving end of said aid, which then goes into the pockets of wealthy Americans. But still, anyone who has gone through a personal transformation, or witnessed the transformation of their country, knows that change must come from within. With the US and its allies meddling in everyone’s affairs under the guise of aid, under the pretense of “protecting the American way of life,” there is no way that the rest of the world’s countries can shape themselves–in their own image–into healthy countries where the traditional values of that culture inform the power structure. A collapse of the US economy would require us to turn inwards, to fix our own problems before we export them to the world. Also, it would level the playing field. Suddenly, we would all be part of the “developing world.” And this world could rebuild with solid decisions that were learned and ratified based on the mistakes of the American empire. (Note: I am part of the aid industry, so this is partly self critical.)

So, I say we give Paulson and Bernanke some noogies while we watch the wall street execs jump out of high-rises only to find out their golden parachute was made of fishing net. Just get ready to do the right thing after it all comes tumbling down.

DY

When the night has come

And the land is dark

And the moon is the only light we’ll see

No I won’t be afraid, no I won’t be afraid

Just as long as you stand, stand by me