Hater Tuesday, seventh circle of musical hell edition, featuring Reh Dogg.
Don’t hit play yet! Read before viewing. Seriously. You are not ready. There are facts to consider. There is permanent hearing damage to consider. There is your current mental state to consider. But, most of all, there is Reh Dogg to consider.
This man has a MySpace page. He has a website. It even has some nice Flash animation. But I ain’t flippin’ linking to his ish! No links! I’m in “hate mode.” Seriously, he’s even got merch for sale. And it almost got me. For a minute I seriously considered buying an ironic “Why Must I Cry” t-shirt. Then my instinct to hate kicked in. This man must be stopped. He is serious. And right now, he is winning.
Somewhere in my research, I even found the term “emo hip-hop” applied to his inimitable style. What the hell? Some dude from Connecticut whines atonaly through his gold fronts for three minutes and he gets to have a style of his own? This makes me long for the halcyon days of LL Cool J’s “I Need Love.” And I hated that track just about as much as I ever thought I could possibly hate a hip-hop track. But no. I was so wrong.
Ladies and gentlemen, behold the unholy love child of LonelyGirl 15 and Tay Zonday: Reh Dogg. Blatant play for Internet fame meets tone-deafness with shockingly bad musical result. There isn’t much more to say I guess. It should probably be viewed alone I suppose. That’s about it. But trust me, these will be among the longest three minutes and change of your life. And you can’t have them back. But at least you’ll have the satisfaction of understanding the ironic Sprite commercial that will surely follow in a couple of months. Believe me, Reh Dogg is on the rise. When his current view total of 1.9 million (not counting ironic remixes, and so forth.) swells from the tsunami of hate that is sure to come, the aggregated “popularity” will surely make him worthy of an equally cringe-inducing Super Bowl Ad. And when some ad-agency douchebag gets to fly to Cannes to accept his Golden Lion for putting Reh Dogg on, humanity will be just a little bit poorer for the transaction. You have been sufficiently warned.
You will laugh. You will cry. You will hate.
Turman
PS. Caveat: if that ad-agency douchebag turns out to be me, then try to hate just a little less.
you said “atonal” but you failed to mention “arrhythmic.” still, i love reh dogg. he gives me hope that if he can do it, anybody can. literally, anybody. plus somebody needed to give “emo rap” a bad name. it deserved it just for being called emo rap. somewhere, atmosphere is throwing his computer against a wall.
Comment by matthewmeschery | 09.23.2008 | 7:03 am
Yep, hellish. This is an uncomfortable mash-up of humorous and utterly distributing. Disturbing because his vocals are so putrid, he makes Biz Markie sound like a classically trained opera singer. But also because I’m pretty sure this cat doesn’t have all cylinders firing upstairs. Actually, I’m a little worried for Reh Dogg (and those around him). Perhaps it was the shower scene and the gun to the temple thing that gave me that impression.
I had to call this up and watch it 7 times just to scrub that other song out of my head. Forever.
Still, one of the best videos. Oh baby. Yoooouuuu.
Comment by Gd. | 09.23.2008 | 8:48 am
This week I have experienced it’s so cool in the d and Reh Dog…Maybe I am going about this all wrong. If i may quote a close fearthebeard comrade in verbs… You got us F*#ked up!!!My ears … My ears
Comment by micblakeq | 09.24.2008 | 12:16 am