Clippers got The Beard, but Lakers landed The Monkey King.
Apparently not satisfied with a not-quite title run led by “Little Flying Warrior” (as he is known in China) Kobe Bryant, the Lakers have upped the ante. Their newest acquisition took the Deion Sanders-esque stance of nicknaming himself “The Monkey King” after initial comparisons labeling him the Chinese Magic Johnson seemed insufficient to encompass his skill set. While apparently the full range of his talents were not on display in Beijing, a quick perusal of the nickname’s origins sets the bar for MK, real name Sun Yue, pretty high.
Here’s the story. Original Monkey King, Sun Wukong, was the hero of the classical Chinese epic novel, “Journey to the West.” Pictured, above left, from a television adaptation, his powers are considerable. This accounting comes from the fine folks at Wikipedia.
Sun Wukong possesses incredible strength, being able to lift his 13,500 jīn (8,100 kg) Ruyi Jingu Bang with ease. He also has superb speed, traveling 108,000 li (54,000 kilometers) in one somersault. Sun knows 72 transformations, which allows him to transform into various animals and objects; he is, however, shown with slight problems transforming into other people, since he is unable to complete the transformation of his tail. He is a skilled fighter, capable of holding his own against the best generals of heaven. Each of his hairs possesses magical properties, and is capable of transforming into a clone of the Monkey King himself, or various weapons, animals, and other objects. He also knows various spells in order to command wind, part water, conjure protective circles against demons, freeze humans, demons, and gods alike, to name a few. Unlike most gods, he earned his immortality through battling heaven and earth.
The real issue here is the hair. Dude is not only capable of considerable beardosity, but each of his many hairs are possessive of magical properties. Apparently, he’s also a 6′8″ guard. So, if you’re Monta Ellis and it’s December and you’re lined up on a gimpy ankle against the Monkey King, watch out for the hair. And beware those spells that can apparently “freeze” defenders. End of the game, down one? Forget Kobe. Get the damn rock into the Monkey King’s hands. Unlike others, he’s earned his immortality battling heaven and earth. Monkey King is going to totally rule.
Turman
PS. Props to Tom Ziller for the find and Yahoo’s Ball Don’t Lie for the lead.
Oh s@#t. Yeah, that dude IS totally going to rule. We definitely need to get Awesome on the team. Remember, his hair channels lightning and his his arm bands ward off flying skeletons. If not, you can read about him here:
http://www.fearthebeard.org/2008/08/08/totally-stoked-by-awesome-bearded-air-guitar-dude-my-vote-for-warriors-new-mascot/
He might have something for The Monkey King too. Otherwise, we might just be getting somersaulted on, big time.
Comment by matthewmeschery | 09.18.2008 | 7:12 am