¡No Se Puede! USA Men’s Basketball holds off Spain in the Beard Competition
It was Spain’s Andalusian Caveman vs. USA’s Urban Sophisticate on Sunday and trim and neat ruled the day. The Passion of The Gasol was not enough to lift Spain above its overall bad form - on the court, in publicity photos, and with the beard clippers. The USA went into the finals with only a slight edge in the facial hair category. Spain and Argentina had a fair amount of scruff under the chin and even Germany tried to up it’s game by adding US-born Chris Kaman and his goatee to the roster (not without some controversy). The Chinese and The Angolans didn’t really stand a chance, did they? And I don’t know about the rest of you, but the Iranians were a big disappointment for me with this one. Anyway, so it should be, Lebron’s bearditude has lead the US men to a well-deserved victory. Plus, wasn’t it nice to see Deron Williams show up with some man-shadow, adding another valuable beard to come of the bench? All I have to say is it’s a good thing for the rest of the world that Baron Davis wasn’t in Beijing, then it would have been a total beard world domination-type blowout. So, if you had to select the US Beard Dream Team who would it be? I’ve got my starting five. Who you got? Our operators are standing by.
M. Meschery
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It’s true. The well-groomed men of the USA Basketball team have their gold. But, it was painfully clear that Spaniards “mas macho” beards gave the Redeem Team some real fits. Perhaps those wild Gasol beards are worth their weight in whiskers. The team obviously came with some fire and serious intensity. Including the hairless wonder, Ricky Rubio, who at 17 and may still be going through puberty.
Now, regarding those “ism” issues. Spain has some work to do. Because, no matter how well they play the game of basketball, that type of sh*t will make you look uglier then Marc and Pau Gasol’s facial hair on Kerri Walsh and our dear Misty May.
Gd.
Okay, since nobody’s jumping in, here’s my US Beard Dream Team starting five (okay, some here are more goatee than beard, but I’m trying to win some basketball games too):
1. Baron Davis
2. Richard Hamilton
3. Lebron James
4. Kevin Garnett
5. Tim Duncan
Comment by matthewmeschery | 08.25.2008 | 12:57 pm
Question. Do they have to be active?
If not, my dream beard team is as follows:
1. Walt Frazier
2. Earl Monroe (aka. The Peral, aka. Black Jesus)
3. James Worthy
4. Moses Malone
5. Bill Russell (it was a toss up with Wilt)
Comment by Gd. | 08.26.2008 | 5:47 pm