Hater Tuesday Olympics Edition: Michael Phelps fatigue sets in and Amanda Beard is kinda dumb.
Since it’s Tuesday, I’m going to talk about why I hate the Olympics, or more over, why I don’t care. I’d rather watch the Special Olympics. Competing for hugs and smiles would be way more interesting to me. Seriously, I’d rather watch the Bay Area’s own Special Olympian, Mike Bailey, go for the gold in Bocce Ball, than watch any more Michael Phelps sycophantism . “Bailey has been described as having two moods–happy and happier.” See, now that’s an athlete I can wave a flag for - the one who gets the Happy Medal.
I don’t have a good reason for hating the Olympics. Maybe it’s because I feel out of the loop and it’s easier to just dismiss the whole thing. How out of the loop am I? Well, I pretty much don’t know anything about any of it except for Michael Phelps. It’s my singular answer for all Olympics-related questions - just like Martin Luther King was for Chris Rock at his Community College Black Studies Class. Who’s the best Olympian of all time? “Michael Phelps!” Who took the gold in pole vaulting? “Michael Phelps!” Who’s that little Chinese girl that lip-synched at the opening ceremonies? “Uh…Michael Phelps?”
It’s pretty hard to cut through the cloud of Michael Phelps Fondue that is drowning the Olympics media coverage. One way, might be to make some kind of “statement” that involves showing your ass. Apparently Amanda Beard would rather wear nothing at all over wearing fur. Sure, for now, but wait until she’s stranded on the frozen ice planet of Hoth. She’s going to cut open the warm belly of her TaunTaun and crawl inside faster than she can say “animals are not ours to eat, wear, experiment on, or use for entertainment.” I agree with the PETA agenda. I abhor fur. But I also abhor dumb people, and Amanda Beard’s about as sharp as the aforementioned bocce ball. I watched a video clip of Beard talking and it’s too bad that she couldn’t speak more eloquently on the issue beyond, “it’s gross” or “it’s disgusting.” Cracker Barrel gravy is “gross.” Wearing a dead animal for fashion is unconscionable. Anyway, it’s Hater Tuesday so I’m ornery. I’m actually “whatever” about Amanda Beard bearing all for PETA at the Olympics. However, it’s gonna take more than some skin to get me interested in this thing.
M. Meschery
Thanks for my haterish Tuesday am laugh.
Last night games took a dramatic turn. In which direction I cannot say. I will tell you I watched a riveting match of Table Tennis (the Nigerian schooled the US representative) and then the finals on Trampoline.
WTF?
Comment by Gd. | 08.19.2008 | 9:27 am
Props for the Star Wars reference, way to slip that in. I don’t know I been mildly into the Olympics for the first time in my life. I been watching random stuff though like Badminton and Women s VolleyBall.
Comment by GldnSt8Warrior | 08.19.2008 | 7:33 pm
Smart? No. But what about her Muscle Belly? I don’t think I’ve ever seen a pronounced belly of pure muscle before.
I gotta come clean….I love the Olympics! I tuned in to the opening ceremonies by accident and I’ve been hooked ever since. Why not? My A’s suck (REAL bad). No hoops or football (and who can get excited about the Raiders right now?). The economy sucks. Why not spend a few hours watching Race-Walking and Synchronized Diving?
Comment by beardedbarman | 08.20.2008 | 9:30 pm