Espn.com has an interesting retrospective on the ABA just as “Semi-Pro” is about to hit the theaters. Is Jackie Moon a morph of Rick Barry and Bill Walton? Don’t know, but I do know that I’d much rather have Jackie givin’ me some color commentary on ESPN than a windbag like Walton. I wanna see Ron Burgundy and Jackie Moon team up for some on-air NBA coverage, “The NBA: Where Jazz Flute Happens.”
PS- Check out the Mullet on Lou Dampier of the Kentucky Colonels. Christ! They had mullets and afros, beards and baby mustaches? Was there anything not cool about the ABA?
Last night the FTB crew joined in the big fun out at McKeon Pavilion in Moraga. There’s this college out there and apparently they have a pretty good men’s hoop team this year. But more importantly for us, we were there to help Saint Mary’s honor esteemed friend of FTB, Tom Meschery, as the baller emeritus numero uno in school history.
Tom was gracious enough to invite us out to center court with him for the ceremony, which is probably going to be the only time anyone lets my rec-league behind onto the hardwood during an actual game of any consequence. The ovation was loud and long and it was an honor to share it.
The game wasn’t so bad either. Actually, the Gaels ran their record to a gaudy 24-4. On the receiving end of the “L” were the Toreros of San Diego. Vaunted point guard Patty Mills had a quiet game, but senior Tron Smith was a one-man wrecking ball during a crucial stretch of the second half. This sets up a weekend showdown on the road with Gonzaga for supremacy in the WAC. Now if they could just suit up the Mad Russian for a little road trip. But with the Gaels playing the way they are this year, maybe the glory days aren’t all in the rear-view mirror.
Thanks again to Tom for sharing a fun ride on the Nostalgia Express,
Daniel Turman
PS. The game also featured long minutes for San Diego from Rob Jones. Why is this significant? Well, Rob Jones just happens to be the grandson of People’s Temple founder Jim Jones. Yes, that Jim Jones. Rob’s from the Bay too. Gary Smith wrote a fascinating profile for Sports Illustrated back in December. You can check it out here.
It will take more then John Stewart and the see-through dresses to make the Oscars watchable for me, however, millions are now gathered around their TV sets for the red carpet event. At this point, the movies the show professes to honor seem to make a mere cameo in the glitzy gossip fest. But, the outcome is almost secondary. It’s all about the show.
For our part, we would like to recognize our own movie mogul, Oakland point man and all-around swagger talisman, Boom Dizzle for his contributions to the Hollywood fodder this year. For his executive production of the documentary film, Made in America, which debuted at this year’s Sundance Film Festival. As well as his unique take on evaluating film product on the NBA.com feature, “Baron Davis’ Setting the Screen.”
Not that Baron’s efforts are going unnoticed. This morning the film section of the New York Times, offered the article, “He Shoots! He Scores! He Makes Movies!.” And, although the article reviews exploits mostly covered here on FTB previously, it’s good to see the liberal, over-educated, NYT-reading elite can appreciate more than just Barak Obama.
Gd.
Now, the nominees:
Denzel Washington, American Gangster (Everything but the fur coat!)
The teens from Superbad
Johnny Depp in Sweeney Todd and Pirates of the Caribbean
The kick-ass Spartans in 300
And the Boomscar for “Most Pimped Out Clothing” goes to…
In honor of Baron Davis and the 80th Academy Awards, we here at FTB have decided to dedicate today to the two things that Boom Dizzle loves the most, basketball and movies. Enjoy.
According to Bob Lefsetz, author of a popular music-industry newsletter, geeks are the new rock stars. And he doesn’t mean geeky rock stars like Radiohead’s Thom York. He’s talking about real geeks like Steve Jobs or Mark Zuckerberg. The way things are going, maybe geeks will become the next sports stars too? Will Ferrell, this is your chance.
But Ferrell apparently has some stiff competition as the nerd-cum-baller poster boy. I recently was made aware of this documentary about the Caltech Beavers men’s basketball team and their 21 year losing streak - 240 straight losses. The film is called “Quantum Hoops” and has been called “Real Genius” meets “Hoosiers” which for me conjures up the thought of an old-ass Val Kilmer playing basketball in short-shorts, a not-so-pretty picture. But 240 straight losses! Damn! Well, I guess it doesn’t matter much when you know that in a game of wits you could probably explode your opponent’s brain like in that movie Scanners. If I was on the Beavers, I’d be talkin’ smack the whole time, like McLovin’ on the court, “Yeah, you just dunked on me, but in five years I’m gonna be slappin’ your girl’s ass with my Nobel Prize motherfuckaaaah!” Or at least that’s what I’d like to believe I’d do. Sadly, my skills with a protractor would never have been enough to put me in a Beavers jersey.
Anyway, “Hoop Dreams” I’m pretty sure this is not, but it still might be worth putting in your Netflix queue. And in the comments, I’d like to know who you would choose for the brainiest baller of all time.
Once again, last night’s game provided the perfect stage for some vintage beardosity. Childhood friends and summertime celebrity-game cohosts Paul Pierce and Boom Dizzle provided the theatrics, with the spoils going to the most robust of whisker. Watch it again. Why not?
Move over Canadian Jesus, you’re not the only one who has a messianic following.
Slate recently published this article, “The Totally Coolest Candidate Ever,” in which they muse on the growing popularity (and possible backlash) of the man who will be the DNC nominee for president. Including, highlighting the tongue and cheek “Obamamessiah” blog. Ha. Check out the video of Obama saving (many) fainting women.
Call him overhyped. Call him the Messiah. Baraccoli or Bararkstar. Whatever. It matters not to me. I believe.
Okay, the real reason why I’m writing this post is that I couldn’t stand seeing that pic of Kirilenko anymore, at least not as the first post on our respectable site. So, looking at this picture makes me think of something way more…I don’t know, Berkeley. Even though this group, Black Mountain, is from Vancouver, they might as well be from Berkeley because Vancouver is pretty much the Bay Area of Canada, ya know? And they play the kind of psychedelic rock that is the musical antithesis of the Andrei Kirilenko photograph below. So, if for whatever godforsaken reason you have for not watching the Dubs play the Jazz tonight, check out Black Mountain’s performance live on NPR at 6pm PST. You won’t be able to see frontman Stephen McBean’s gnarly beard, but you’ll be able to hear it.
And the hate just keeps on coming. Actually, this time it renders me strangely nauseous. I think it’s AK-47’s “guy in a van in front of the middle school” expression. But, I really have to start paying more attention. Apparently, Free Darko broke these pictures more than a month ago. It seems that they’ve been “cease and desisted” but you can still see more here. Now, usually, I’m right on the white-hot edge of all things related to hating on Andrei Kirilenko, but I didn’t notice these pictures until they had already made their way around the whole dang b-sphere. Anyway, with the Dubs on the road in Utah tonight for a Hater Tuesdays early-bird special, it seems like the perfect time to take another look at what passes for ballericiousness in the Salt Lake State. Don’t fly too close to the sun Andrei.
Okay, enough of that. Some keys to the game after the jump.
With the campaign turning a tad negative in recent days, I figured that now would be a good time to do a little negative campaigning. It’s Hater Tuesdays. It’s an election day. I’m home sick with the flu. Don’t get me wrong though. I’ll still punch the chad for Hill in the fall if it comes down to that. But hey, my guy Obama’s in the lead. Let’s push this thing.
Thankfully, I didn’t have to look too hard or dig too deeply into my bag of witty slams or patch together any funny mock musical tributes. That’s because a handful of massively uncool Hillary “supporters” seem to have done did it already. What the hell is this? The 30-year reunion of an Up With People cast on an Oxycodone bender? Whatever it is, they seem fiercely determined to alienate every voter under the age of 90 who stumbles into this unholy hot mess of a song.
Even if these fine folks are acting alone, the “official” video stars Celine Dion. That’s a head slapper of magnitude 11. You’d have a better chance of capturing my vote by shaving your head and going on a wild, pantiless, umbrella-wielding paparazzi rampage than by offshoring your theme song to the most singularly annoying vocalist Canada ever produced. If you have to, you can watch that one after the jump, along with the McCain “Yes We Can” spoof.
Now, send this link to everyone you know so that we don’t have to suffer through any interminal Celine performances at any ingurals anytime soon. Barack would never do that to you.
In the last few weeks one Warrior has been in most every conversation among our posse. Some of us call him “Bay Bay”, some call him “Monta All Day” or just “Young Monta”. But all of us know his real name. “The Future”.
You may have even noted the small, however symbolically important, chin whiskers that have recently sprouted. We here at FTB may be bias, but we don’t think this is a coincidence.
And, if you haven’t already, check out the FSN feature above.
