So, let me get this straight. Nellie goes and gets himself thrown out of the game before halftime. And somehow the squad keeps its cool through an abysmal stretch of what announcer Jim Barnett charitably described as “horse-manure officiating.” Then the team rallies behind the leadership and defensive intensity of Davis and Jackson (playing in front of family and friends from nearby Port Arthur, Texas) in the fourth quarter. And finally it’s the erstwhile hothead Jackson laying down a fusillade of “dagger” threes in a monster crunch-time run that blows the Rockets right out of their own building. This 2008 thing might work out pretty cool, basketball-wise. I love this game.
That recap of tonight’s game action from Michael Marshall, aka Mike Meezy, comes courtesy of AT&T Wireless. Not really. But, see, last game, Mike Meezy went kinda berserk with the text messages. So tonight, we gave him an Elk burger for strength and an open microphone. Make the jump for the quarter-by-quarter story of the game.
Ladies and gentlemen, it’s ya boy Mike Meezy. Fo’ sheezy.
Turman and Meezy
Correction: The elk burgers that were consumed during dinner were originally attached to an animal of the same name, which was a resident of the State of Utah. The man who gave us the meat is Lil’ B’s father John. He is a resident of the Bay Area and an avid hunter. Those seeking guidance in such adventures can seek his assistance through Calalaska Guide Services out of Vacaville. FTB apologizes for the confusion. Book your hunting excursions accordingly. Woo hah!
The last time I had a full ‘Baron beard’ was during the Dubs playoffs run.
Well, I’m sporting the man moss again. Mostly ’cause it’s so damn cold here in Colorado. In fact, yesterday morning on our way up to Snowmass, it was -11 degrees. The kind of chill that freezes your nostril hairs on contact and makes you think twice about heading further up the mountain. Even on a powder day.
After a day in the elements, it warmed me to watch the Warriors and Nuggets go at it on the Altitude Network. It was a hard loss, but entertaining. Everything you might expect from these two well matched teams. Who knows, this could even be playoff preview for the Dubs.
However, as I negotiated a small flat patch of mountain, getting totally winded and donning a fresh pair of snot-cicles, I couldn’t help but fret about the rematch in Denver. So guys, don’t wait until late in the 3rd to make your run. Come out strong and hold that lead. Even with the great conditioning, late in the contest, I fear for your legs and lungs. Particularly as you hoist those threes at the Pepsi Center.
Back when FTB’s core constituency were just idealistic mini-ballers, we started a nonprofit. Not just any nonprofit, a bunch of us collectively known as FFAAT threw big-ass hip-hop clubs and folded the money into youth-education programs. We totally had the club part dialed. And back then, hip-hop still scared promoters, so we got some pretty big names to perform. Even stacked a little bit of cabbage. The problem was with the youth-education programs. We got a few things to work, but we didn’t know enough about working the system to make the kind of change that could stick.
Fortunately, in the years since, we’ve gotten pretty good at the doing the Internet thing. And we’ve also done some volunteering, some designing, some writing and some actual in-the-trenches, direct-service work too. We’re still not that much better at making the change that we want to see stick, but now we know the people who can. And sometimes, we’ll even do some of the hard work. I have personally driven a van-load of homeless kids to the beach for the day, with KMEL blasting and Cheetos flying. I have documented the work of adult victims of childhood abuse fighting to end the cycle of violence. Meschery got grimy at McClymonds High School with the BUMP Records subsidiary of BAVC and Lil’ B. made their website. Dolin has thrown down good logos for good programs for years. I even did a day of food prep at the SF Food Bank. And most recently, I worked on a site redesign for Roots of Peace, a Bay Area-based group working remove landmines in Angola, Afghanistan and Croatia.
Since this is the end of the holiday season, and I’m sitting here rubbing a belly full of ham, I figured now might be a good time to do something to put more ham in more bellies. Better still, the groups listed below—with one noteworthy exception—are ones that we’ve worked with in the Bay Area, groups that are putting it down for real. You’ll even get to deduct donations made before December 31st on your 2007 income taxes. So if all those nieces and nephews didn’t torch your bankroll, here are five great organizations that will put your extra loot to work. The sixth belongs to our beardsake himself, in partnership with Magic Johnson and Paul Pierce. Get some tickets to their charity game and tell me if Snoop can still hoop if you ain’t feeling one or more of the first five.
And if you’re still with me, thanks for reading this far. I have been truly blessed this year. In so many different ways, not the least of which has been the ol’ FTB. So, thank you for being part of this here family. And whether you are looking for some good karma or some good tax relief, any of the links below will help you get it done.
Alright you people get ready to chill
For the Christmas show at the Burning Spear
All you hip-hoppers ready for a treat
‘Cause Santa Claus is on Beat Street
A special thanks to the Magnificent 4 and the magnanimous, Doug E Fresh for their most generous hip-hop gifts.
I’ll let you in on a little secret - not all of the members of the FTB crew don ye olde whiskers on the chin. So, come playoff time, our clean-shaven comrades have a choice: A.) They can man-up and put down their razors, or B.) They can purchase this itchy-lookin’ “Beard Cap” by Icelandic design company Vik Prjonsdottir.
Leave it to the Icelanders to come up with the ultimate in seasonal absurdist fashion. Bjork anyone? But, hey, sometimes you might want to look like a medieval sock puppet, or some kind of unfrozen bog dweller. Let’s call it the Piltdown Man look. Anyway, for those who choose option B above, I don’t recommend sporting this to the game. It looks like it might make it difficult to eat your nine dollar nachos, and the guy sitting next to you might think you got lost on your way to the Alaskan Renaissance Fair. Don’t you hate it when your squire doesn’t have a GPS system on his donkey?
Vince Carter. The Dubs drafted him. Traded the rights way back when. He’s no longer Air Canada. He’s just Air Izod Center or something. But he got with us tonight when it counted.
Okay. Full reset. Sleep well on the plane. Lebron and the Cavalettes tomorrow.
The playoff beard in hockey is a rich, be it superstitious, tradition. Since the 80s, player and fan alike have forgone the use of a razor while questing for Lord Stanley of Preston’s chalice. Take our friend Mike Commodore, of the Hurricanes (fig.1), as a prime example of said practice.
Baron has said his beard is a representation of his current hustle. He’s in “grind mode.” While this is not necessarily a superstitious practice, it’s a manifestation of his state-of-mind and a great totem for his goals.
In Baron’s last blog entry, he makes mention of a “dope beard” sported by one of the Patriots’ Linemen.
This could be a reference to Matt Light(fig.2). He certainly has mucho, and muy macho, man moss. Dan Koppen, the newly selected Pro Bowler, has some serious growth too. In fact, I understand that much of the Pat’s O-Line have beards going now. Seems they are shunning shavers in solidarity and support of their own winning streak. Perhaps it’s even helping. The thought of them crouching down to face a row of 300-pound thugs with full fearsome fur is a menacing vision indeed.
Well, at least it’s keeping ‘em warm, up in there in Foxborough, Mass.
Perhaps next year, the Warriors own Austin Croshere will embrace such a talisman. And, God willing, by the end of a perfect 82-win season, the Dubs will have made history and Crow will usurp Jack Passion as World Beard Champion (fig.3)!
Actually, that’s a damn good list. But you know you want a Fear the Beard t-shirt tho’. Don’t pretend you don’t.
Turman
PS. I know that’s my laziest post of the year by far. But cut me some slack. I’m in Denver and it’s cold, man. And where’s my air? For the record, I hit the treadmill in the hotel and was straight gassed after, like, zero minutes. Carmelo would score like a fucktillion points on me at the Pepsi Center. How the hell am I s’posed to be all bloggin’ and stuff? I’m tired.
That title’s gonna be an old saying soon. I made it up when I was getting hated on. Apparently, I was not alone in noting the fact. Katt Williams feels the hate. So go ‘head and get hated on. It means that you’re putting it down for real.
