Junior beard challenge revealed: DeShawn versus Drew.
And it don’t stop. When it’s good, it’s good. And today the tip jar runneth over. None other than the esteemed “Bald-Headed Fashionista” of the Washington Post (aka the “The New Zen Master of the Sports Blogosphere”), Dan Steinberg, dropped this bombshell in the FTB inbox. DeShawn Stevenson is apparently engaged in a high-stakes man-moss-growing contest with none other than El Cerrito’s own Drew Gooden. With an undisclosed wager on the line, DeShawn is attempting to match the carpet-rocking Cavalier whisker for whisker in what is shaping up to be an epic season-long march toward beardosity. But don’t believe me, get it from the former Whole Foods cheese specialist turned blogger, who famously chronicled the cheeses of Turin during the Winter Olympics. Take it away Dan.
Why the beard, DeShawn?
“I’ve got a bet with Drew Gooden,” he said.
Yes, that’s right, our very own DeShawn has made what we’re calling an “undisclosed wager” with the formerly ducktailed Cavs forward Gooden, who began growing his own beard over the summer. Both guys live in Orlando, and they saw each other socially. Gooden had a beard, Stevenson made a comment, and so Gooden challenged him to grow facial hair of his own.
“So I said all right,” Stevenson said. “He said ‘who cuts it first,’ I said let’s do it,” and the rest was history.
Personally, characterizing Gooden’s previous look as a “ducktail” is a bit generous. Frankly, it kinda looked like those little fluffy balls of fabric that adorned the backs of the socks of women tennis players back in the 70s. But I’m not hating. Drew! You’re from The Bay! I gotta recognize. Even if you were an El Cerrito High Gaucho, sworn enemy of the Berkeley High Yellow Jackets among us. No hate, Andrew Melvyn Gooden. I’m just saying. I hope this works out better than the Peter Cottontail thing. But I’m not hating!
(PS. Unghh! Ungawahh, Ja-ckets got the powah!)
Given DeShawn’s history of head to head victory over Drew (see: CIF Division III High School Basketball Championship, 1999), I’ll take DeShawn and give the points. But regardless, both of y’all are playing catch up, and you know this. But I’ll still adminster some lightweight props for bearditude, pending how the season and the wager unfold. Oh, and we will be watching. And DeShawn, we’ll be seeing you next week for your meeting with Original Beard. Ongoing commentary to follow.
Turman
Update: there is a winner.
Drew needs a “ducktail” about as badly as I need a Jheri Curl.
Comment by beardedbarman | 11.14.2007 | 2:58 pm
This is a cry for help and demand for change. Immediately. We need to pool our resources, circle the wagons, and get serious. No more lies! No more deceptions. I am calling for a hunger strike immediately to put an end to this season’s ignoble beginnings.
Comment by jrock | 11.14.2007 | 11:10 pm
There have been a few bright spots in these last few losses, most importantly is that BD (The original beard) is having some pretty nice stats and looking a lot like The Beard of last season. However, we know one man a team does not make.
Comment by matthewmeschery | 11.15.2007 | 5:19 pm
…And seriously, these dudes’ beards kind of bum me out.
Comment by matthewmeschery | 11.15.2007 | 5:20 pm
Speaking of bumming beards. As I was watching the Dub’s 4th quarter crumble, I couldn’t help but notice that Rasheed is still rockin’ those vagabond/derelict whiskers. Patchy and untamed, yet crafty and effective nonetheless.
Comment by guthriedolin | 11.15.2007 | 5:42 pm
I fear this may be getting away from us as one so base with such prominent Beard Loss as Mr. Wallace mocks us from our very home court. Perhaps we are afraid to admit the possibility that many do not in fact ‘fear the beard’.
Comment by jrock | 11.15.2007 | 6:04 pm
Beard v. beard. Baron’s beard in round 1.
Comment by guthriedolin | 11.23.2007 | 8:59 pm