Jesus of Vancouver?
They have a different dollar, different bacon, a different health care system, and now this - a different Jesus! And to make it worse, he doesn’t even look like Jesus. In fact, he looks like Steve Nash. Steve Nash is the Canadian Jesus!? Imagine my outrage this morning when, before going to church, I read this in the NYTimes:
“Steve Nash” the self-effacing Canadian long shot whose life story had been puréed into an edifying fable about Chasing Your Dreams and Working Hard and Always Giving Back, and in some parts of his home country had been polished to such a saintly sheen that people called him Can-Je, short for “Canadian Jesus.”
Can-Je? Are you serious? Does that sound like an appropriate name for the Son of God? The son of Hello Kitty maybe, and that’s still blasphemy. Will these Canadians stop at nothing to offend us? Next, they’ll be calling Feist the Canadian Susan B. Anthony. And the Phoenix Suns organization is just as shameless. I know many sports teams like to believe they have God on their side, but this is ridiculous - God running the point?
I could list the many reasons why Steve Nash is NOT Jesus, like, for example, leading the league in assists three years in a row does not constitute a miracle. But the most obvious is Steve’s lack of facial hair. I don’t care if it’s Black Jesus or crazy blue-eyed James Caviezel Jesus, we all know Jesus has a beard. No beard, no beatitude. So, in light of that, I could think of a strong candidate for an even better point guard Jesus hailing from California (in the God-fearing USA). Let’s just call him Cal-Je.
Meschery (with the Jesus-like assist from Dolin)
Seriously, Can-Je? A friendly neighbor had left this on my doorstep, thinking that it might be of interest to FTB. By the time I looked at it and booted up, you had already rocked the response. But he does have the hair though. For what he lacks in bearditude, Nasty Nash seems to do his part to make up for it by rocking the appropriate ‘do. If he put a beard to it, it would be straight Nazareth.
PS. Way to rep the Gospel of Matthew on the DL. I’ll see your Sermon on the Mount and raise you four great beasts in a future post.
Daniel
Comment by admin | 10.28.2007 | 8:42 pm