Report Cards: Chris Mullin and Rod Higgins.
It’s the middle of June and that means that it’s time for the official Fear the Beard report cards to get mailed. It was one helluva year for the Dubs, but as with everything the performances had their nuances. While a letter grade is difficult to assign to the results of an 82-game schedule and playoff run, we’re gonna go ahead and give it a run. In our own special way. Thus, In partnership with our friends at Golden State of Mind, we proudly present the first set of grades, er, beards.
First up, the executive tier, specifically the two-headed hydra of general manager: Chris Mullin and Rod Higgins. To see what this has to do with the image above, you know what to do. Beardly goodness awaits.
Mully came out hot in the off-season last year with the blockbuster move to land Don Nelson. That alone was enough to insure a passing grade, but he didn’t stop there. He also managed to pull of the second-biggest blockbuster trade of the year, passing off Doogie Howser, Jr. and Troy Murphy for Crazy Eyez Jackson and (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle) Donatello Harrington. Way to reconnect with your old friends in Indiana. With these big kudos as a jumping off point, the missteps were few and the only glaring shortcoming was not finding a taker for Sarunas II (for a workable puzzle piece) before the trade deadline. For all of these efforts the beard rewards him with the distinguished grade of “Grizzly Adams.” I’m pretty sure that Mully could have hand fed a bear or pulled Sockeye salmon out of a roiling river with his bare hands if he had chosen to, but life being what it is he had to content himself between blockbusters with post-practice games of half-court two on two with the next man up: Higgy Baby Himself, Rod Higgins.
Rod, I’m envious. You had the best job in the league since Jack Haley checked out of his Rodman-sitting duties. You have coach Yoda giving you advice on the one hand and Mully orchestrating his magic and burnishing your luster on the other. I’m sure that you did more than the stats could possibly reveal (since there really aren’t any), but the end result was getting a call from MJ his damn self to come and run an ascendant Bobcats roster in the stink-lousy Eastern Conference. I like your style. Not bad. You are no Grizzly Adams, but in the pantheon of beards I figure that such adaptive skills are due at least a “Kenny Rogers.” You knew when to hold ‘em and when to fold ‘em and the Beard salutes thee.
And Mully, if you need an aging 6′4″ swingman with limited defensive intensity for those post-practice runs, I got your back.
Daniel Turman